“What you all did is a very serious crime,” she says with a long sigh. “But I can’t say that it doesn’t give me some peace of mind knowing that I’m actually representing an innocent man.”

A wave of relief rushes over me.

Finally, someone believes me!

“Okay, let me think about how we can approach this matter in the most delicate way possible and I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” I say, grabbing my purse.

“By the way,” she stops me by the door. “If you have any interest in seeing Nicholas, they have just transferred him to Boston.”

26

Nicholas

When they take me to a new place…

Prisons are the same and different. The location changes. Along with the people and some of the rules but the lack of freedom remains.

Some prisons are better than others mainly as a result of relationships. You meet some people you connect with, you make friends, and then you have to move. At least, that’s what my new friend here in Massachusetts told me.

He’s nice enough and he likes to talk. I like to listen so we’re a good match. He’s also not violent, which I appreciate since the last thing I want is to end up in solitary again.

My bruises have pretty much healed on the outside, leaving me just with remnants of panic and sheer terror that comes out of absolutely nowhere and overtakes my body without my control.

I haven’t felt this way since I was a child and had night terrors. Some people say that they happen to children just out of the blue. But mine didn’t.

They were a result of my uncle and other scary men in my so-called family who not only didn’t protect me but actually hurt me. But that’s another story for another time.

That’s the thing about being cooped up all day. You start to let your mind wander and the place it typically lands is somewhere pretty dark and inhospitable.

Today, I have a meeting with my lawyer.

She comes to visit me and nods compassionately as she brings one slice of bad news after another. It has been like this over the last seven visits, and today will be no different.

Honestly, if I could save her a trip and just read her emails, I’d appreciate it. That way I don’t have to put on a brave face and pretend that what she’s telling me is alright.

“Thanks for seeing me on such short notice,” she says, sitting across from me.

We are separated by inches of plexiglass and holding ancient receivers to our ears so we can hear each other.

“Not like I have a busy schedule nowadays,” I say with a shrug.

“I have some good news for you.”

I raise one eyebrow.