How’s Solly? I wonder.

Is he taking good care of her?

Will he get along well with our dog and baby?

Of course, he will.

He will even love playing with our chickens.

Why? Because it’s my fucking imagination.

I run in place for a while, at first counting to one hundred and then giving up and just letting my mind drift.

I spend a lot time with Olive here but there’s one thought that I always push away.

Today, it catches me by surprise and somehow penetrates my ideal world and throws acid all over it.

What if it was Olive?

What if I’m here all because of her?

21

Olive

When I get back home…

It takes me a few days to schedule the appointment with the district attorney in charge of Nicholas’ case. Perhaps, I should first go to his lawyer, but I don’t want the DA to think that I’m biased, or any more biased than I probably am.

I watch interviews with him online in order to prepare myself but they don’t make me feel any better. He is combative and not particularly kind. He’s the shark that I guess the state wants him to be. Still, I don’t have many options and I force myself to suck it up and do what’s right.

The security guard checks my identification and I walk through the metal detectors in the lobby without setting them off. When I get to the fifth floor, the doors open right out to a large room full of cubicles.

A part of me expects to see large windows and wood-paneling like they have on Law and Order, not an average corporate office. The administrative assistant in the front tells me where I can find the DA’s office and I follow her instructions all the way to the back. There, another assistant tells me to wait until he’s ready for me.

Just when I take out my phone, she tells me to go on in. I grab my purse and walk in.

The DA is on the phone but he points to the chair in front of his desk for me to sit down. The nameplate in front of me reads Connor Keenan. Dressed in a white shirt and tie, his suit jacket is hanging on the coat rack next to his desk. He is stern and short on the phone, which he hangs up without saying goodbye.

I extend my arm and introduce myself.

“Thank you for reaching out to me, Ms. Kernes. How can I help you?”

I start with the lines that I had memorized earlier with Sydney.

It’s better to go in there prepared rather than just winging it, she advised me. So, we worked out a script.