How is it that some people have so much while others have so little?

Without my phone to entertain me, time passes like molasses. I arrived right on time and I should only wait twenty minutes but it feels like it has been hours.

Finally, they show all of us into a large room with round tables and chairs bolted to the floor. There are small windows near the ceiling along each of the four walls but otherwise it looks a lot like the cafeteria where I ate lunch for four years at my pubic high school.

The inmates are already sitting at various tables, and I scan the room for Owen. Initially, there’s a rush of excitement as the children run into their fathers’ arms.

The guards watch carefully as we are only allowed a small hug and a peck on the cheek, no excessive displays of affection.

That’s not going to be an issue in my case.

I spot him sitting at the far table, near the entrance where he probably came through. His head is hanging low but he is searching the room with his eyes, eventually laser pointing onto mine.

I relax my clenched fists and put my chin in the air. I will not show him that I’m afraid. I will not show him that I’m intimidated.

Owen doesn’t say a word when I walk up to him.

Suddenly, there are more lines on his face and his skin has a yellow tint to it, making it look sallow and tired.

“Thanks for meeting me,” I say, sitting down across the table from him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a vending machine full of chocolate bars and chips and a huge plastic container of drinking water with small cups underneath.

Unlike the snacks, the water is free. The majority of the inmates are already stuffing their faces with one thing or another, but Owen simply folds his hands in front of him and interlocks his fingers.

“What do you want?” he asks.

There’s hostility in his voice.

I’m tempted to bite my lower lip but I don’t. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy but I can’t let him see me waiver.

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened,” I say after a moment.

“Oh, yeah? Why is that?” His eyes narrow from anger.

I was hoping that he would be a lot more receptive to seeing me again, especially since it’s a surprise, but now I realize that I have to make an effort to get through to him.

Right now, he is all ice.

But what we once had was a real relationship.

If I want him to relax and to get through to him, I can’t be ice myself. I need to be vulnerable.