“Okay, I can’t stand it anymore,” I say, finishing my cup of tea and pouring myself some more hot water from the kettle to fill it back up. “I know that you think that Nicholas did something wrong, but he didn’t. At least, I don’t think so and I’m back here to find out the truth.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I have no idea, but I’m going to try to find his friends from back home and just get to the bottom of this somehow.”

“That’s a bad idea,” Sydney says unceremoniously as if I don’t know that already.

The people he associated with back then were mafia members, at best, and cold-blooded murderers at worst. Who the hell knows what kind of dealings they were involved in and who the hell knows what they’ll do to me to get to him? I know this, probably more than Sydney does.

But I have to try.

I don’t have any other choice.

Otherwise, I won’t be able to forgive myself.

“You’re an idiot if you do this,” Sydney says, grabbing a handful of granola out of the box and stuffing it into her mouth.

“Of course, I am,” I say with a shrug. “I’m a woman in love.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” She shakes her head. “Don’t be stupid.”

“I have to find out the truth about Nicholas. I love him and I can’t just continue loving him and not know. If he did it then it’s over, but if he didn’t then I will fight for him.”

Sydney gets up and goes to the sink. She turns her body away from mine and I sense that something is wrong by the way her shoulders tense up.

“What? What is it?” I ask. She doesn’t reply so I try again.

“He’s going to go away for a very long time, Olive. Years. I just don’t want you to be one of those women who visits their loved ones in prison. It’s awful. I know that TV makes it look romantic but it’s shit. You know it. I know it.”

I’ve never thought about that until she brought it up.

Shivers run down my spine.

What if that happens?

What if I find out the truth and he’s innocent and that’s still not enough?

What if they have a trial and convict him anyway?

My blood runs cold.

I crack my knuckles and stare at the floor.

Sydney and I don’t talk much after that. I escape to my room until she goes to work and try to figure out what to do. I have no idea who Nicholas hung out with back then and even if I could reach him, there is no way he would ever name names.