She smiles. I know that smile. It used to be the way she smiled for her father. She wouldn’t dare smell them in front of us, but I can see she’s tempted. ‘Okay,’ she says. ‘Can I hang with him again tomorrow, then?’

I turn to Gabe, who simply shrugs. ‘Hey, at least she’s asking this time.’

We’ll talk about this later, I think. ‘Home by four,’ I say, hating the fact I can’t control my own daughter. ‘Make sure you are actually studying, and keep your phone on.’

Prosecutor: ‘Would the witness please read the document Exhibit A aloud?’

Simms: ‘Ah sure, okay. Documentary evidence – Exhibit A: Personal diary extract

‘She says I don’t need to write about anything in particular, just to think about how I’ve been feeling lately and make a note of it. This week I was feeling a little down, but seeing Margot helped. It was probably the highlight actually, as sad as it sounds. She made me consider my history and how it affects me.

She tells me I’m clever, and tells me that when I’m better, when I am on top of things, I will be happy. When you think about my life and everything I’ve been through, it’s impossible to believe my luck will change and everything will be fine. The past follows like a shadow, it stretches, growing longer and longer and darker and darker.

When she asks me if I blame anyone, I can’t help but blame myself. It’s always been my fault. If I answer honestly, if I really consider why I did what I did, the only answer is I am who I am. I’m made of all of my decisions and all the things that have happened to me. But now I have her. Now I have a reason to try harder.

The way she smiles at me, the way she tilts her head, her dark eyes fixed on me – I can’t remember the last time someone made me feel so good about myself. But then she also challenges me too. I wonder if she knows that when she told me to write about my feelings I would end up writing about her.

What else is happening? Well, I feel like I can start working again soon, hopefully. I’ve not had to do work for a while, and I wonder if I’ll be able to sustain it. I applied for a few jobs and now I’m just waiting to hear back …’

Simms: ‘And the rest is indecipherable.’

Prosecutor: ‘Thank you.’

Chapter Two

TWO