I take the glass by the stem and have another sip. I can feel it working on me, the blood slowing in my veins. I feel relaxed. I study his face, those green eyes. He runs his fingers back through his hair. I place the glass back down on the table. If Joe really is Raze, then he would only be out to get Evan, not any of my other clients. So why am I so worried about Xanthe?

‘You know, Cormac. I’ve heard there’s a stalker in South Yarra. He is bald, a little overweight and very tall. Maybe you should take extra care.’

He raises his eyebrows. ‘Is that right? I’ll be fine,’ he says. Beneath the black button up shirts he always wears, I can see the shape of his shoulders, the ropey muscles of his arms pressing the cotton. But he’s still smaller than Joe, and it’s not him I’m worried about.

‘And your sister? All I’m saying is you should both be careful.’

‘That’s sweet of you, Margot. To look out for us,’ he says, his voice getting quieter, so I find myself leaning in to hear him. I glance down and find his index finger is sliding up my own. Then he’s leaning closer still. Then he moves smoothly and swiftly so our lips are touching. A moment passes before my hand comes up and pushes him back. I jerk my face away. My heart slams.

‘No,’ I say. ‘I’m leaving, Cormac. That was completely inappropriate. I’m married.’ I quickly glance around the wine bar again, searching for any faces I might recognise but the room is too dark and no one seems to be looking our way.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I couldn’t help it. I’m falling for you, Margot. I don’t know what it is.’

‘There’s no excuses.’

‘Sometimes,’ he begins, ‘I feel like I will never escape the shadow of my father. Sometimes I feel like my impulses are milder versions of his own.’

His father was cheating. That’s at the core of the family breakdown. I had issues with my own dad, too, and I find myself overidentifying, excusing his behaviour.

‘If he hadn’t done what he did, I wouldn’t be here in a wine bar sitting with you. I wouldn’t be seeing you at all. Maybe I’d be a normal person who could keep relationships and live a happy life.’

‘I’m sorry, but I can’t help you, okay? I’m leaving.’

I lay two twenty-dollar notes on the table and stride towards the door. Then I slip into my car, turn the key and head off. In the rear-view mirror I see him standing on the sidewalk, half dissolved in streetlight.

Chapter Fifteen

FIFTEEN