He drags his palm over his stubble. ‘Is there a duty of care to check in with her family or friends? To make sure she hasn’t hurt herself or been hurt by someone else?’

‘I wouldn’t know how to get onto the family. Look, I’m sorry,’ I say. Then I’m crying and he’s pulling me hard against his chest, his hand working the base of my skull.

‘Shh,’ he says. ‘It’s okay.’ I sob, hopeless and weak, melting into him.

‘Maybe you were right to get the police involved,’ Gabe says. ‘Maybe we should try my idea, an anonymous tip? If you’re convinced, if you saw him driving behind you, then it’s not really a risk at all. The cops just need to get his prints then they’ll be able to nail him for the arson, right?’

‘Maybe. But what if they can’t take his prints or they can’t prove it? What if he figures out it came from me?’

‘How would he do that?’

‘I don’t know,’ I say. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should make the call and hope for the best. But I’m just so scared.’

‘I’m scared, too, but we’ve got to do something.’

Prosecutor: ‘Now for the court, please read the title and the highlighted lines in the next document.’

Simms: ‘Documentary evidence – Exhibit C: Personal diary extract’

‘I know there is an age difference, but I also know it doesn’t matter. We kissed. I felt alive for the first time in years. I felt like things were all in the right place. This illness I have, it sucks the joy and meaning out of everything, small things like rays of sun on my neck to the big things. I know I should be here for the people I’m supposed to care about and look after. I should be present and they should be enough but they’re not. My girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend now, doesn’t know why I’m pushing her away, she doesn’t understand what is happening in my life, but I did it for Margot.

When our lips met, I knew it was worth it, I knew we were meant to be together even if she wasn’t supposed to be seeing me like that, so she had broken protocol to spend time with me. She will lose everything if we just decided to start a relationship so I’m going to wait. It’s all a waiting game now. I have something to live for. I have love in my life. I have her.’

Chapter Seventeen

SEVENTEEN