He steps forward and puts his foot on the edge of the chair, then nudges it so I’m clutching at it with my toes, only just hanging on. The rope is choking me as it gets even tighter. I can’t scream now. I can barely breathe.

‘One more outburst and I kick the chair away.’

‘Please,’ I say, gasping. ‘I’m going to fall.’ He nudges it back in place so I can stand straight again.

‘There’s no point screaming. The nearest house is almost two kilometres away. No one is going to hear you. Now, tell me what did you do?’ There’s hunger in his voice.

‘Nothing. I left him there.’

‘Did you want him to die? Did you think he might tell someone what you did and ruin your career? Were you worried Daddy would think less of you?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘That’s awfully close to a lie, Margot.’

‘I didn’t want him to die,’ I begin. I need to tell him what he wants to hear to buy time. I think about the question. The past is emerging from the shadows in the corners of the room. It rises like dust motes in sunlight. I close my eyes and let it take me. I’m visiting Peter. He was so manic, so out of control.

I can hear his voice. ‘We had fun. I just don’t understand, I’ll never understand. I love you, Margot. You love me.’

‘No, Peter. This has to stop. I’m … I’m seeing someone else now.’

‘I’ve got a gun.’ It was sudden, stated plainly and I knew he was telling the truth. I knew he would use it. ‘I’m doing it tonight.’

I froze for a second, I didn’t know what to say, what to do. Peter had become a big problem for me. He was unstable, demanding, dangerously impulsive.

‘You know they’re going to put me away. You know if I don’t do it I will crack.’ If he cracked he might hurt someone else. He might hurt me. He might tell the wrong person about our affair.

‘You’ve got options, Peter. You may not see it now, but you can be happy with someone else. You know that, right?’

I open my eyes, Cormac is watching me with a twisted smile on his lips.

‘I didn’t really, Cormac,’ I say. ‘I didn’t want him to die, but it was inevitable.’

‘Did you ever think it would be convenient if he died?’

I know if I speak I’ll start to cry. The hard fibres of the rope scratch my skin.

‘Did you?’ he roars.

I start to cry. ‘A little,’ I say through the tears. ‘Just for a moment I gave up on him. I thought there was nothing I could do. I am so so sorry, Cormac. I should have fought harder for him.’

Then he laughs.

Chapter Thirty

THIRTY