Reagan followed and she felt Jill right behind her. Just being close to her was affecting her. Her body hummed with the familiar pleasure that being near Jill always brought. She wanted to hold on to the anger that had consumed her since the night of the benefit, but she found it wasn’t as strong as it used to be. In fact, it was practically nonexistent, at least on the inside. Outwardly, she didn’t want Jill to know how much she had affected her, not until she knew why she was here. She needed to keep her guard up. She couldn’t take being hurt anymore.

Amy led them to the same table she and Jill had shared on that fateful day of their first meeting. Both sat down as Amy retreated wordlessly to the front. Now it was just the two of them, staring at each other in silence. Since this seemed to be Jill’s show, she’d wait her out until Jill said what she came to say.

Jill toyed with the silverware in front of her, flipping it around and then straightening it again. Now that she had Reagan in front of her, her mind had gone blank. What she really wanted to do was to wrap her in a hug. She wanted to feel her touch, her warmth. She wanted her and missed her. What if I screw this up? What if I lay out all my feelings and it doesn’t change anything? She felt the familiar burn of tears at the corners of her eyes but she willed them away. She couldn’t break down, not yet at least. She cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice even. “It’s really good to see you.”

“What are you doing here? I’m supposed to be meeting Gwen,” Reagan asked, arms crossed and looking a little pissed.

“Um, well, you’re actually not. I asked her to get you here.”

“Why?”

“I needed to talk to you, Reagan. I need to apologize.” Reagan stayed silent for a moment which made Jill nervous, and she resisted the urge to fiddle with the silverware again.

“I’m listening.”