Ash stood and tossed the notepad onto the chair, clenching their fists at their side before turning for the door. Instead of leaving, Ash quietly closed it and went to stand in front of Jill’s desk again. “Fire me if you want, but I’m going to say something first. You hate this time of year, I get that. I know you like to bury yourself in work because you can’t stand spending time with your family during the holidays, but think of everyone else. I’m not even saying this for my benefit. Think of your employees who have families or friends they want to spend time with.” Ash paused and took a deep breath. “Look, I know things have been rough since things ended with Reagan.”

“Watch it.”

“No, someone needs to say this. You’re working way too much. Your temper is through the roof. Almost everyone who comes in contact with you is considering quitting. Jill, you are killing yourself here. If you want to do that to yourself, then fine. Go ahead and do it. But don’t be so self-absorbed that you bring everyone else down with you. You’re punishing yourself, and everyone around you for ruining things with Reagan. You can’t tell me you’re not acting this way because of her. You either need to find a way to patch things up with Reagan or move on.”

“Leave, Ash.” Her voice caught as she continued, “Please.”

They shook their head, turned and left. Jill covered her mouth with her hand to quiet a sob. Ash was right. Ash was always right. They had tried to tell her she would crush Reagan by not showing up to the benefit, and she did. They were right again that she had been punishing herself every day since that night. And with that came punishing the people around her.

She just wanted to feel better and she missed Reagan so much. Jill didn’t know how much she had been missing until Reagan came into her life. She had nothing to look forward to after work. She didn’t receive random text messages during the day that brought a smile. There were no more surprise dinners. No one to talk to. No one to open herself up to. She missed Reagan’s touch and her warmth. She missed her.

Jill wiped the tears from her eyes and picked up her phone. She unlocked it and pulled up her texts with Reagan. They hadn’t spoken a word for almost three weeks. Jill hadn’t meant to count the days since the night of the benefit, but every day without Reagan was a day of pain. Before she could second-guess her actions, she typed out three words and sent them. She started typing more, but didn’t want to go too far, so she deleted them.

She stared at the phone, willing a reply to come, but it never did.