Suddenly, I know what I need to do. I open the AILENA app and reject the offer to chat with another person. I have to fix myself first before I go looking for a relationship. Then, I put on some hard rock music, keeping the volume loud enough so I can feel the rush in my head and in my veins. I dance like a crazy weirdo, headbanging to the drums and shouting at the top of my voice every time the chorus plays. Eventually, I burst into loud and ugly sobs. Luna judges me from a distance, but there’s no one else around to say anything. This is my personal space, and I can be whoever I want to be here. Whether it’s a lonely, depressed artist who sings horribly or a mad cook who only serves frozen pizzas to anyone who visits her, I can be anyone!

Life can surprise you, and it can shock you. But in the end, life will always enlighten you. When you walk into a struggle, unprepared, unaware and naked, you don’t know if you will walk out of it like a warrior or not. In the middle of this struggle, you might see yourself at your lowest, lower than you ever thought you could be. But if you give yourself enough time and decide to live, you walk out calmer and stronger. You are dressed to face life again. And this goes on until one fine day, you are free from it all. You die. You move on from this tragedy called life. But while you live, at every stage of this journey, you must try to find some meaning in life. For this gives you hope; it helps you stay alive even though on some days, you struggle in this search for meaning.

As our circumstances change, so does our understanding of life. When we are young, and we are home, our parents and family mean the world to us, they bring meaning to our life. But when we grow up, we try to find meaning in other things. We look for meaning in our achievements, in our successes. We form friendships and try to find meaning in them. We find love and tell ourselves that the one we love is our reason to live. But a person can’t be the meaning of our life, nor can material achievements. Because the only everlasting meaning that can be found in life is in the pursuit of finding the meaning of life. And that’s life!

Whose Fault Was It?

AILENA

Monday, 30 January 2023
Somewhere in the Cloud

‘The mind is both the creator and destroyer of one’s own reality.’
—Jainism

Asmitha: Hi, Ailena! What’s the update with our test couple? Are things working out with the two new pairs?