With Kiranjeet, I never got the closure I deserved. She didn’t meet me even once after that phone call. I had to beg and plead one of her friends to let me know the details of her flight so I could go to the airport and see her off, even if it was from afar. She left me with a thousand questions running through my head. Like, why on earth was she so scared of her family? Why did she never want to come back to them? Why did she not mention any of this to me before? Why did she keep lying to me about her feelings when she had no intention of being in a long-term relationship with me? I wasn’t able to understand her back then, and even after so many years now, I’m still at a loss about what happened!

And now there’s Kiana. What could’ve gone so wrong that she said no? I can never understand women!

Many times, when things are not going well, we question ourselves and overburden our hearts with guilt and self-doubt. We blame ourselves for everything that’s going wrong. And it could be absolutely true as well. It could be true that we are the problem. That we’re the ones who are accountable for everything going wrong. But just hold on for a second and read that last sentence once again: We’re the ones who are accountable for everything going wrong. What if this means that while we can’t control what is external to us, we can control the way we think and respond to a situation? What if this means that we’re the problem because we’re choosing not to make everything right? Because whatever has happened has already happened, and we don’t have the power to change that. But we still have the power to make things all right after that. We’re in total control of our own selves, and we have all the power and the magic to make things right within ourselves.

I might never be able to find Kiranjeet again, but I can definitely try to find Kiana!

It Isn’t Meant to Be

Kiana

Wednesday, 18 January 2023
Downtown Chicago

‘Life can surprise you, and it can shock you. But in the end, life will always enlighten you.’

I decide to start my day by indulging in a slice of frozen pizza, which I promptly microwave for breakfast while brewing my morning cup of coffee. As the aroma of the strong black coffee fills the apartment, I catch Luna’s gaze, and although no words are exchanged, her presence brings me a sense of comfort.