“Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Adam?” Her lips pull to the side as she slides her shades down just enough that I can see her eyes. “Honey, I’ve been gazing at this lovely face for years. I can tell when something’s bugging you.”

And like everyone at a retirement party watching a slide show, I’m struck by a wave of nostalgia, the sepia-toned moments of our lives together, and the violent way we came to be mother and daughter. I cannot imagine where or what I would be if she’d not taken me in.

“I broke up with Adam,” I say.

“I see,” she replies, reserving judgment as she always does.

“I never wanted to be a politician’s wife. I certainly don’t want to be a worm on a hook,” I explain.

“Oh, Ary. I’m so sorry.”

“I hadn’t gone to meet him with the intention of ending things. But the way he saw me fitting into his campaign, I just couldn’t stomach it.”

In the distance, I hear a child babbling. A family has come around the bend, a couple wearing puffer coats and pushing a stroller. I estimate it has taken no less than a million miracles to create this moment.

“And now that you’ve had a chance to sleep on it, do you still feel the same way?”

“Completely,” I reply without hesitation. “But I also think I may not be built for relationships. Maybe I’m meant to be married to my work.”

“It is one way to live,” Mom says. “But I don’t know if I’d recommend it.”

Mom had a couple of relationships over the years, none that made it to matrimony. I’ve always thought I was somehow the reason for that.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “If it weren’t for me—”

“If it weren’t for you, Aryana, I would be spinning in circles. You didn’t keep me from some storybook romance. I never wanted to be responsible for a husband and a family. Maybe I knew I was a little too much like Tilly. So I chose a career that I thought would ensure I never had a chance to screw up a marriage or a child.”

It saddens me that Mom had such little faith in herself and that she felt so hurt by her mother. But she’s also been my role model. I learned from her how to throw myself into my career.

“Aryana, I could never fill in the missing pieces of your life. I’ve always known that. The holes were just too big for me to even think I could come close. But you—you filled a giant hole in my life and made me the proudest mom. There’s so much I got to do because of you, so much I had the chance to experience.”