They really got to you, she said as I rose to my feet. Why do you think that is?

I don’t know, I said. I wasn’t getting much sleep. The city smelled like char. I’d watched two patients die that week. I could have offered Dayo a thousand reasons for my sensitivity.

Dayo would have seen through it, even though, until then, I’d only told Dayo what I’d told everyone else about my past.

I’m going to sit here. You can talk to me or ignore me or go to sleep if you like, but I will not leave you alone like this, she’d said.

I knew her family had lived through a war as well. And now we’d both lived through the ugliest event in New York City’s history. I wasn’t going to shock her with what I’d seen. Curled on my couch, I told her I’d been dreaming of two soaring towers crashing down on my lost family while I watched from the rooftop of a vacant hospital. Then I told her the rest.

It was so long ago. I don’t know why I’m crying about it today.

Lightning and thunder, Dayo said. You know what happens in a storm? You see lightning before you hear thunder. After the flash, you hold your breath and count the seconds and listen for the bang. You don’t hear the bang until later.

We sat together, watching the news replay George Bush explaining to Americans what motivated the terrorists to attack. They hate our freedoms, he said.

Watch people believe him, Dayo scoffed. She turned the television off, went to my CD player, and filled the apartment with U2’s music. It wasn’t enough to drown out the sounds of the world outside.

Never forget, the city swore.

Never forget, the country echoed.

Chapter 38

“Knock knock,” my assistant chirps as she pokes her head into my office. “I just put the chart in the holder. Room three is ready for you, Doc.”

“Got it. Thanks, Lacey.”

Lacey’s ponytail swings as she half walks, half bounces down the hall. “Or it might be room four,” she calls back.

She’s a twenty-something-year-old with the personality of sunshine but none of its brightness. She’s gone before I can complain.

I pick up the chart she’s left for me and see that it’s a patient I operated on two years ago. She’s done remarkably well and only comes in every six months. Her imaging and bloodwork all continue to look clean, so this should be a pleasant visit.