Was that what she thought? That I’d been eyeing Chad ever since the start? I thought of all those people outside, most of whom I knew and some of whom I didn’t. People who showed up at Penny’s parties every week. Her friends. Who didn’t like me. Who mistrusted me.

And I had proved them right, hadn’t I?

Hopelessness reached a crescendo inside me, and I wanted to throw myself at her, beg and cry for her forgiveness, if that was what it took. Anything to make her stop looking at me like that.

“You don’t know me at all if you think I’d do anything to hurt you,” I said.

“You just did!” Penny almost screamed.

“Hey,” Chad started to say, but she quelled him with a slicing look over her shoulder.

When she turned back to me, her voice was quieter than I’d ever heard it before. “Get out.” All trace of her tears was gone. The shattered porcelain had sharpened into steel.

“Penny—”

“You are uninvited. I don’t want to see you here anymore. I don’t want to see you at all.” She laughed, all kinds of brittle. The sound shredded my heart. “In fact,” Penny whispered, “the next time you see me? We don’t know each other.”

My ears were hot. Everything pounded. My vision blurred. The memory of Elodie crossing the street to avoid me flashed into my mind. Only now her face was replaced with Penny’s. “Let’s talk about this,” I said. “Please, let’s—”

Penny opened the door. “What are you waiting for?” Her voice cut straight through me.

I fled, not caring who I jostled on my way through her tiny living room, past the kitchen, and finally onto the deck. There was nowhere here where I could breathe. I put the bottle I was somehow still holding to my lips. The now-warm beer tasted disgusting, but I swallowed it down.

“Hey, you okay?” Levi was at my side.

I could only imagine how I looked. Pale. Shaken. Unhinged.

“I’m fine,” I said, my voice louder than I’d intended. It seemed magnified to my own ears. “I just … can we get out of here? Go to the beach. Anywhere else.”

I could see his concern from the way his eyes crinkled. But, to my relief, he didn’t press me on it. “Yeah, of course,” he said.

The journey there seemed to take an eternity, or maybe it only felt like it because I was reliving the memory of Penny’s cold words and colder eyes. Over and over I heard her clear voice say, Get out get out get out. I’d barely had any beer, but the world still looked dizzying. I sank my bare feet into the sand, trying to hold back the tidal wave of emotion that threatened to take me under. “Here’s good,” I said.