i believe that you are well on your way to happiness, if you haven’t already reached it, and for that, i am endlessly thankful. there is nothing more that i could ever want for you. you deserve it a thousand times over.

i miss you, still. not sadly, but happily. with a smile on my face. much like the smile you always brought about when you were here.

3

primrose pink

for the sweetness shared

between these two;

they had a love like a flower:

it grew, and blossomed, and wilted.

if you had let me

i would have given you

my entire heart

all the love

in my tired body

it would have been yours

even if you never asked

because that is just

what i did

that is what i understood

love to be

but you pushed it back to me

when i held it out for you

keep it

you said

you need some of this love

for yourself

it was the strangest thing:

realizing that loving somebody

did not mean giving them

the means to

destroy you

you were the gentlest love i ever touched. a whispering pink. it was soft on my skin. melted on my fingers like cotton candy.

you were the first boy i straddled while kissing. you stripped away the parts of my innocence i didn’t need to keep, and i was glad it was you who did it, because i was taking parts of yours too. step by step, we moved together, though never side by side.

i think we both knew deep down we were doomed from the start. you can say you wanted to marry me but you didn’t. i wasn’t made for you and you knew it as well as i did. i think you’re someone who doesn’t like to admit that they might be wasting their time. you fell in love with me so you thought, surely this must be it. why else would i bother.

but to me, you were not a waste of time. you were a milestone. a climax. you were the moment of realization. that love is not all-taking. that love does not have to consume you to be real. you can love and sleep soundly. you can love and kiss softly. you can love and leave quietly.

you can love and leave whole.

relationship status: on the outs

i guess one could say we aren’t on speaking terms. i try my hardest to avoid you, but sometimes i can’t help but catch your eye (in the mirror). and there are moments where you still take my breath away. there are times where i almost love you again.

he wants me to come back to you. he says he won’t have me otherwise.

maybe he’s right.

maybe it is time to finally fix things with you (me).

i never saw you

in my future

and it didn’t bother me

one bit.

i was happy