“Stop THE DOOR killing my fucking pigs—”

“You have A BAJILLION of them Doc plus also too they actually make more if you just leave them—”

“Not as quickly as you are nuking them—”

“I am not nuking them the door is not my responsibility I AM BANJO TELEMARK I do not sully myself with mere robbery for hire—”

“You are now also my pigman. Stop nuking the fucking pigs—”

“I really want a nuke like an actual nuke by the way—”

“NO we have discussed this. Also IF we had a nuke, which we will for many good and sufficient reasons NOT, do you think for one second you would be allowed to have the codes does that strike you as a good plan?”

“No now that you say it kinda not I guess I am not the guy you would—no basically you are the guy for—”

“I AM and I do not want one and do NOT change the subject my PIGS—”

“Bajillion pigs—”

“I have—I had—twenty-four Price now I have nine I need at least three at this rate I will have to buy more and people will fucking notice if we are getting through twenty-four pigs every three days that is—”

“It is the door Doc it is super-duper sensitive—”

ZORCH SPLAT—

“PRICE!”

“Charlie shut the door down for now just let the pigs eat.”

“All eight of them.”

“Sorry Doc.”

The X8 does not like Doc’s pigs at all.

Bad door.

—

Breakfast bacon. Not our bacon. Do you know nothing there is a whole curing technique this is bacon from—also too electrocuted pig is not always all that tasty there are hormones—

Bacon and fresh juice and horrible UHT milk in coffee and—

VoIP Incoming call.

For Doc.

Because I am dead.

Accept y/n?

y

Speaker on.

Doc says:

“Go ahead I am listening.”

“Doctor. It is Ottavio Leopold Calvanese.”

“A pleasure to speak to you.”

(Doc is looking at me because this is totally my fault.)

“Indeed so Doctor and yet you have presented me with something of a problem.”

“I have?”

“It does appear that you have murdered Mr. Sharkey.”

“I understood him to have exploded.”

“He did.”

“In fact our express preference was for a resumption of normal business practice after a lapse in his professional judgment. What happened is a matter for regret. I have no idea what exact chain of events might have precipitated such an outcome.”

“It is an interesting happenstance that he was somewhat at odds with you.”

“Correlation is not causation of course.”

“But you do possess a demolitions expert.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

(Doc mutes the phone.)

“This is your fault.”

“Don’t give a fucking inch Doc.”

“I thought conciliatory.”

“No Doc not conciliatory fucking full force forward. If you blink he will fuck us.”

“I do not think so.”