“Of course they imagine it is us but we do not give them proof huh? And they have much to do somehow they do not find time to investigate difficult question of who takes a direct action. There is absolutely a file. It is a priority file because we are repeat offenders. But at the same time it is not time critical. There are files that are time critical even if they are a lower priority. So it is completely natural and respectable that they cannot confirm their suspicion.”

“Bruno man—oh man—this is Banjo he’s good people he’s like a rock star of art man you’re gonna love this.”

“How come I don’t know you are coming to Bern?”

“I just figured you know we didn’t—I mean I kind of left—Flavia was—”

“You want to bust my balls?”

“Bruno—”

“CHARLIE YOU BUST MY BALLS?”

“Bruno we all know where your balls have been I got no intention of touching those hirsute fucking danglers get the fuck out of here.”

“There was a time Charlie when—”

“Yes there was Bruno yes indeed there was—”

“HAH! CHARLIE!”

“BRUNO!”

“CHARLIE!”

And that right there this time is for sure a sex limpet. There are sex limpet tongues and after a while someone starts reciting that Japanese poem about parting the wet grass.

“Charlie you stay the night? I—”

The Donnerbüchse goes off into the wall. I’m not sure what it’s loaded with but it smells like hell.

Everyone looks at everyone else for a while because it just smells so terrible.

“Get the fuck out Charlie,” Flavia says. “Leave my brother alone you are bad news for him.”

And actually once someone has pulled the actual trigger on a Donnerbüchse full of whatever the fuck that was you don’t want to sleep in their house anyway.

Charlie has to promise Bruno she will come see him to discuss the Fountain of Planetary Justice, which I assume they will do naked and which I will of course not allow for operational security reasons also because Flavia is a fucking nutjob with an eco cannon. I mean we don’t have to move out we could just kill her. Then we could kill Bruno although I’m sure Charlie would not like that and we could kill all the others but then what? When people came looking for them we’d have a whole thing and we can’t just murderize the whole of Bern that is not what we came for and people would talk in the wider community they would say it was uncouth.