And they will that is totally their jam. If there is a hippie problem they are just all over that. They love a hippie problem. Beating up on hippies is like a fucking traditional activity although in certain parts of the world you have to be real fucking careful about it because there are hippies and hippies and some hippies turn out to be log-cabin motherfuckers after all and—but an art hippie is just a hippie and they love that sweet bloodhoney.

So they are here to help man just to help out a buddy. You can tell it is them because they are so very fucking precisely ethnic. If any one of them had so much as a midbrown hair he has dyed it that straw-piss color you see in colorized photos from the ’30s. These guys are nostalgia walking and they are here to do me wrong.

Well okay not walking per se that is not what they are doing. I sort of reckoned they would come in their black suits with their perky flower badges or in that paramilitary crap they wear to make themselves feel like real soldiers and not basically drug remoras. I figured they would in the first instance try to scare the shit out of Banjo Telemark or at least send the screwheads in first with bats to beat him down because as we have mentioned Hans Eiger does not want to accidentally-on-purpose murder an artist howevermuch of a dick that artist might be. Because advertising. But of course that constraint now that I think about it does not entirely apply to his deniable friends here and these guys are not walking and they do not have bats that I can see.

They are riding.

In a big fucking terrifying truck of death.

Which I admit I did not absolutely plan for.

—

This is not Humvee country they do not have those here. Humvees are all about an American kind of war porn that is sort of WWE and militia cool and rap and rock music all in one place at one time. Like there was an American commander in Afghanistan who famously wore a sheriff’s badge and a ten-gallon hat and that is exactly the sort of behavior that makes Europeans think Americans have something wrong in the head parts I do not know what the Afghans thought about it but I am assuming it started with whatever is the word for fuck in Pashtun. A hat like that has swinging big dick energy and why would you ever show a bunch of snipers your dick energy that is just putting a target on your energetic dick.