“Well so here we are I am asking you as a service to I guess local humankind to help me here so that no one has to get so much as a nosebleed—well I say no one but obviously I’m excluding from that certain un-Swiss fucking Fascists who will probably fall from a great height onto a pointy object or something—”

“Do you also understand the reasonable bounds I require in exchange for this information?”

“No serious physical discomfort or damage no death little or no loss of earnings no serious long-term emotional or psychological trauma.”

“That…is correct.”

“Within the obvious limits like if I don’t know if this person has a shotgun under his bed in some ultra-Swiss thing that I do not know about—”

“Yes of course self-defense is respectable even in a criminal context if not legally understood—”

“Okay.”

“…Okay yes.”

“You people are awesome I am just so grateful.”

“Do not thank me please it makes me feel soiled.”

“You’re an asshole and you’ve given up everything about who you are to do this one dirty thing and I can’t believe you’re helping me. Aw that came out cold man I did not mean that to sound cold.”

“…”

“Honestly Friday I really do like you guys and if you like I’ll give you a hug to get you through this weird little moral crisis you’re in but I get the sense that would not help. Right? Am I right? Yeah so maybe hug Mr. Dory and get back to me when you can okay?”

“…”

“…”

“When I talk to you Jack Price I believe I have woken from a coma to find I am living in a locally made experimental film.”

“Ain’t that the world these days my friend.”

—

“Thanks Rossini that was horrible here is money bye.”

“Did you just call me Rossini?”

“I am an asshat lady but I know the difference between the Marriage of Figaro and The Barber of Seville and you did right by me so yeah I did.”

“…You need me again, you call, that’s fine. But call me Mozart okay?”

“…Sure Mozart I will.”

“Now I’m going to go park my plane in front of your plane again and maybe draw a giant penis on it in ultraviolet paint.”

“O screw you.”

I go before she says in your dreams or some such because Mozart is a nice person and very useful and I cannot have Doc murdering her for loose talk.

—

Doc still has the same number of pigs. The door has been well behaved. Lucille has been watching it to make sure.

Every hour of every day.

Door vs. Lucille. Lucille vs. door.

Rex says that neither of them has blinked.

—

Back to Eiger. Back to the job.

“Hi Charlie how’s it going?”

“It’s going boss that I will say.”

“Are you in yet?”

“God LORD boss butt-plug joke much?”

“What?”