The smile immediately fell from my face though. It didn’t matter if Axel or Jacob made it easier to breathe. I was pretty sure I hadn’t kissed either of them.

“Why do you ask?” my dad said.

I looked back up at him. “I was just wondering. Mom told me you were a dick to her at first.”

He laughed. “She did not say that.”

“I’m paraphrasing.”

He shook his head.

“But...were you?”

He finished his hot dog and sighed. “I tried to keep my distance because I didn’t think I was good enough for her.”

I wondered if maybe that’s what Axel was doing. Keeping his distance because he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. I pressed my lips together. No. That couldn’t be it. He was the captain of the football team. He was a great student. Everyone loved him. He was amazing.

I swallowed hard. Maybe that was the problem. I was the one that wasn’t good enough for him. I really hated that thought. But it was a lot more likely that I was my dad in this situation. And Axel was my mom.

No, that didn’t make any sense either. Because I wasn’t being the dick. Axel was. Thinking about dicks made me think about the one pressed against my stomach on Friday night.

God, I was such a mess.

I finished my hotdog and stared at the red pandas. The two that had been sleeping were awake now. And they were wrassling.

I wanted to smile and just get lost in their cuteness, but my head wouldn’t stop spinning.

All I’d gotten from this conversation was that sometimes when you were in love you acted like a dick. And when you were in love it felt easier to breathe.

Axel was a dick.

And Jacob made it easier for me to breathe.

I definitely preferred how the second thing made me feel.

I wasn’t even sure why I was thinking about this though. Even if I came clean about everything to Jacob? All the operations and phases? I’d still have to tell him I kissed a rando in a closet.

He’d never look at me the same.

I wasn’t sure I’d find it easy to breathe ever again.

Not until I solved the mystery of who my kiss thief was. It was time to get Sophie’s help.

Chapter 17 – Hoes Before Bros

Monday

I wasn’t sure how many times I’d read through those texts over the weekend. I’d asked the kiss thief to tell me his name a couple more times, but he hadn’t texted me back since Friday. Apparently he only felt chatty at two in the morning.