I’m prepared for Dineas to argue, but he simply nods. “I’ve always thought wars should be fought face-to-face. None of this poison or backstabbing.”

“I can give you sleeping potions. The kind I use in my blowgun for capturing animals, if you promise not to harm your victims after they fall asleep.”

“That’s a complicated set of rules.”

Is there anything about our situation that isn’t complicated? “Believe me, there’s little precedence for the decisions I’m having to make.”

That gets a chuckle from him, though there is not much mirth in it.

I pour water into my bowl and give it a stir. “You’ll be going back with your memories intact, then. Will you be able to live and train in the barracks like this?”

His shoulders stiffen. “I’ll have to be.” He looks at the bowl in my hands. “Will I be taking potions with me?”

“Twice a day, as before.” I pause, wondering about how he’d hide the vials from the others. “Or, if you prefer, I can restore your memories once and for all.”

He doesn’t answer right away, and a haunted look creeps into his eyes. “No. If I’m caught, it’s better if I’m unable to tell them anything.”

A bitterness on my tongue, though I’ve drunk nothing.

There’s no point in delaying things longer. I portion out the contents of the bowl into clay vials and wrap them carefully. After he tucks them in his bag, Dineas brushes the dust off his sandals and adjusts the sleeves of his tunic.

“Think I can pass for him?” he asks.

“Your eyes look ten years older.”

The corner of Dineas’s mouth lifts in a grin that’s tinged with sadness. The air around us feels heavier. “Until next time, then, Zivah. Take care.” They’re simple words, but he speaks as if he means them.

I don’t pretend to know what Dineas is to me. At different times, in different states, he’s an infuriating ally, a friend, a patient, a missed chance for love. But I do know that I’ll feel his loss deeply if he fails. I take his hands.

“Be careful,” I say.

And then he’s gone.

Chapter Forty-two

As I head back to Sehmar City, the many times I’ve walked this path compete for attention in my mind. The very first time had been with my memories intact, trailing Zivah to the compound. That had felt dangerous, a mission through enemy territory. But since then, this land has become my home. The contrast is enough to make my palms sweat and my head hurt.

Slicewing and Preener fly above me, and their shadows cross my path from time to time. After a while, I start looking for them. It’s nice to have friends with me, even if it’s friends with feathers and a beak.