“It’s just that…there were parts of serving in Neju’s Guard that were…hard. The fighting, I could do that. But what we did to the wounded afterward. We killed them all, you know. Just ran them through.” His voice falls to a hush. “And there’s the way Arxa treats prisoners. The way he questions them.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I’m probably being foolish. I’m sure the rebels deserved every punishment the emperor deemed appropriate. What do I know of the world, right?” His self-deprecating smile is strained.

And here’s the point where I take the guileless soldier I’ve created and mold him into something ugly. Dineas might betray his people without full knowledge of who he is, but I must do it with my eyes open. The words don’t come easily, but they do come. “It reflects well on you that these punishments weigh on your conscience, Dineas. It shows you have a good heart. Soldiers must do unpleasant things sometimes, but it’s for the good of the empire.”

He grasps at my words. “Do you think so?”

I think of my own village, about the humiliation we’ve suffered at Ampara’s hands, the constant threat of destruction if we refuse their ever-increasing requests. Of Dineas’s own time as their prisoner that left him so damaged.

“Imagine what would happen if the rebellions were allowed to continue. The empire would fall apart, and chaos would take its place. It’s taken years to build up Ampara to the great empire it is today. Nothing is worth that. Criminals must be made an example of.”

Dineas nods uncertainly. I wonder if saying something with enough conviction makes it true. I wonder if being forced into a lie makes you less of a liar.

“Arxa has been very generous to you. Do your best to prove yourself to him. Show him your gratitude, and he will take care of you.”

Once again, he nods, more sure this time. “Thank you, Zivah. I think I just needed someone to talk some sense into me.”

The trust in his eyes makes me want to take it all back, to undo the damage I’ve done. But by some miracle I force a smile. “You’re a good man, Dineas. Ampara is fortunate to have you.”

Dineas returns to Sehmar City that evening flush with the new confidence I’ve instilled in him. As for me, I return to my duties and do my best not to dwell on how complicated things have become.

The next day, Scrawny brings me a letter from Kaylah, which I eagerly open. As I expected, she’s very interested in what I’ve learned from Jesmin thus far. She’s also glad to see circumstances improving in the rosemarked compound. Still, I’ve not completely won her over to my mission.