I think about Fender’s dark eyes. When I’m with him, it feels like I’m standing in line for a terrifying roller coaster. Yeah, he certainly is different.

Kate takes a hair tie off her wrist and puts the braid over my shoulder. “Done.”

“I never wear my hair in a braid.”

“It suits you, though.” Kate nods approvingly. “So what do you think of Fender?”

I feel myself blushing. If I lie now, she’s going to notice.

So all I say is “I…I sometimes have the feeling he’s not doing that great.”

Kate’s face clouds over. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you think he looks kind of bad?”

“Yeah…,” Kate says, fiddling with the ring on her pinky finger. It’s a child’s ring with a silver four-leaf clover on it.

“And yesterday evening I bumped into him in the park and he seemed pretty…preoccupied,” I say.

“I know what you mean.” Kate slides off the bed. “I’ll have a word with him.”

She was suddenly there by the stairs.

Just as well I got away before she could take a good look at me.

I saw her clutching her shoulder, though.

I hope it hurt when I bumped into her.

Fender

She’s dead.

How can she be dead and I didn’t even realize?

I drum my fingers on the windowsill. From here I have a beautiful view out across the river to the houses opposite, but I don’t care. I couldn’t care less about this whole hotel.

How am I supposed to celebrate Kate’s birthday this weekend when she’s…But maybe it’s not true. Maybe she just wanted to give me a scare.

I reach into the inside pocket of my denim jacket. The gold envelope is still there.

I’ve read the words more times than I wanted to, but I couldn’t help it. They stabbed me like knives, over and over, but in a weird way it felt good. I deserve the punishment. The words are carved into me so I’ll never forget them.

At first I thought Kate and Lucas had received letters too, but when I met them at the entrance, I could tell at once that I was the only one.

What if it’s really true? What if she really did commit suicide because of what happened last year?

A wave of nausea hits me.

“Fender?” Lucas looks at me. “I asked you a question.”

“What?”

“Do you want to come for a swim?”

Lucas points at his swim briefs, which he’s already put on. Typical Lucas. He’s not bothered that he’s at a five-star hotel, where that sort of thing is completely inappropriate.