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Chapters (69)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Title Page
  4. Contents
  5. Introduction
  6. Revenge of the Lawn
  7. 1692 Cotton Mather Newsreel
  8. 1/3, 1/3, 1/3
  9. The Gathering of a Californian
  10. A Short Story about Contemporary Life in California
  11. Pacific Radio Fire
  12. Elmira
  13. Coffee
  14. ‘Rembrandt Creek’ and ‘Carthage Sink’
  15. The Weather in San Francisco
  16. Complicated Banking Problems
  17. A High Building in Singapore
  18. An Unlimited Supply of 35 Millimeter Film
  19. The Scarlatti Tilt
  20. The Wild Birds of Heaven
  21. Winter Rug
  22. Ernest Hemingway’s Typist
  23. Homage to the San Francisco YMCA
  24. The Pretty Office
  25. A Need for Gardens
  26. The Old Bus
  27. The Ghost Children of Tacoma
  28. Talk Show
  29. I Was Trying to Describe You to Someone
  30. Trick or Treating Down to the Sea in Ships
  31. Blackberry Motorist
  32. Thoreau Rubber Band
  33. 44:40
  34. Perfect California Day
  35. The Post Offices of Eastern Oregon
  36. Pale Marble Movie
  37. Partners
  38. Getting to Know Each Other
  39. A Short History of Oregon
  40. A Long Time Ago People Decided to Live in America
  41. A Short History of Religion in California
  42. April in God-damn
  43. One Afternoon in 1939
  44. Corporal
  45. Lint
  46. A Complete History of Germany and Japan
  47. The Auction
  48. The Armoured Car
  49. The Literary Life in California/1964
  50. Banners of My Own Choosing
  51. Fame in California/1964
  52. Memory of a Girl
  53. September California
  54. A Study in California Flowers
  55. The Betrayed Kingdom
  56. Women When They Put Their Clothes on in the Morning
  57. Hallowe’en in Denver
  58. Atlantisburg
  59. The View from the Dog Tower
  60. Greyhound Tragedy
  61. Craz y Old Women are Riding the Buses of America Today
  62. The Correct Time
  63. Holiday in Germany
  64. Sand Castles
  65. Forgiven
  66. American Flag Decal
  67. The World War I Los Angeles Aeroplane
  68. Revenge of the Lawn
  69. Copyright

The door to the trailer opened and a man stepped out on to the porch. There was a pile of firewood stacked on the porch and it was covered with a black tarp.

The man held his hand above his eyes, shielding his eyes from a bright imaginary sun, though everything had turned dark in anticipation of the rain.

‘Hello, there,’ he said.

‘Hi,’ I said.

‘Hello, honey,’ she said.

He shook my hand and welcomed me to his trailer, then he gave her a little kiss on the mouth before we all went inside.

The place was small and muddy and smelled like stale rain and had a large unmade bed that looked as if it had been a partner to some of the saddest love-making this side of The Cross.

There was a green bushy half-table with a couple of insect-like chairs and a little sink and a small stove that was used for cooking and heating.

There were some dirty dishes in the little sink. The dishes looked as if they had always been dirty: born dirty to last forever.

I could hear a radio playing Western music someplace in the trailer, but I couldn’t find it. I looked all over but it was nowhere in sight. It was probably under a shirt or something.

‘He’s the kid with the typewriter,’ she said. ‘He’ll get 1/3 for typing it.’

‘That sounds fair,’ he said. ‘We need somebody to type it. I’ve never done anything like this before.’

‘Why don’t you show it to him?’ she said. ‘He’d like to take a look at it.’

‘OK. But it isn’t too carefully written,’ he said to me. ‘I only went to the fourth grade, so she’s going to edit it, straighten out the grammar and commas and stuff.’

There was a notebook lying on the table, next to an ashtray that probably had 600 cigarette butts in it. The notebook had a colour photograph of Hopalong Cassidy on the cover.

Hopalong looked tired as if he had spent the previous night chasing starlets all over Hollywood and barely had enough strength to get back in the saddle.

There were about twenty-five or thirty pages of writing in the notebook. It was written in a large grammar school sprawl: an unhappy marriage between printing and longhand.

‘It’s not finished yet,’ he said.

‘You’ll type it. I’ll edit it. He’ll write it,’ she said.

It was a story about a young logger falling in love with a waitress. The novel began in 1935 in a café in North Bend, Oregon.

The young logger was sitting at a table and the waitress was taking his order. She was very pretty with blonde hair and rosy cheeks. The young logger was ordering veal cutlets with mashed potatoes and country gravy.