“But we need you right now. I can’t put the pieces together the way you can,” he says. “You asked Eric at the bar last night. Why are we here? There has to be a reason, Carrie. It has to mean something. And if we don’t figure it out, they win.”

They used to do this back when they were trying to solve a problem that was too big for either of them alone. They would check each other’s work: his raw processing power and internal database against her deductive reasoning and huge stores of memory.

But she doesn’t need this. She is tired. She doesn’t want any eureka moments or sudden breakthroughs. She wants to go to sleep. She wants to wake up and be normal.

“Stop,” she says. “It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late. We can still beat them. But we have to do it together.”

She looks at him. It isn’t a programmed response on his face right now. He is pleading with her. He doesn’t have the words for this. But he’s trying. He’s really trying.

“It’s too late, Danny,” she says again, emphasizing the words. “It’s twenty years too late. My father is dead. I’m not coming out to catch bad guys today.”

He slumps visibly. He’s at least smart enough to know he’s blown it.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“Yeah. You said that.”

She shuts the door on him, because she doesn’t have the patience to see him looking sad.

But as soon as she turns around, it comes to her, like it always does, even when she doesn’t want it to. The answer to the question: Why are they here?

Who gains? Who benefits?

Who would kill her father just to knock her sideways, to keep her from thinking straight?

It’s like a piece of paper folds itself into an origami swan, right in front of her eyes, untouched by any human hand. All of the clues intersect and lock into place. She sees it all in an instant, crystal clear, and feels herself go cold. There is a sinking feeling in her gut and the room spins, and she actually slides to the floor to sit down

She always finds the answers. She always solves the mystery.

She thinks, Of course. Of course.

She shouldn’t be surprised.

It is all so much worse than she thought.

Carrie hears her mother drop a dish in the kitchen, shattering it.

She still doesn’t cry.

20

What You Want Is Not the Most Important Thing