I don’t know if I’ve got another story about these four people inside me; we get caught up in trilogies and franchise pictures in American entertainment and I only want to keep writing these plays if I actually have something worthwhile to say. I might drop in on these folks again one day but if I don’t, I’m happy where they end up this time around. It was good to see them again and I thank them for reminding me that no matter how shitty life can be, it’s so much better than the alternative.

And best of all, I remembered an important aspect of living by writing Reasons to be Happy: enjoy the journey and don’t forget to look up from time to time—the scenery is beautiful and your fellow travelers are pretty fucking interesting.

Neil LaBute

March 2013

REASONS TO BE HAPPY

Reasons to be Happy had its American premiere at the Lucille Lortel Theatre (MCC) in New York City in May 2013. It was directed by Neil LaBute.

A slash (/) indicates the point of interruption between the present line and the next speaker’s line.

The text that follows represents the script as it went into rehearsals for the American premiere.

The lights pop on. Bam. Just like that.

A parking lot. Two people—GREG and STEPHANIE—standing in front of a discount store. Both with bags of food in their arms. Smack in the middle of yet another fight.

GREG … no, no, no, no!/ No, uh-uh, no!

STEPH Yes!/ Don’t lie, you fucker!

GREG Steph, no! (Beat.) We are not gonna do this again, so just stop!

STEPH So then explain it to me … liar.

GREG Look … this is … not here, alright? Not in the parking lot of Costco, I am not willing to do that …/ I don’t have to so I won’t./ I’m not gonna. No.

STEPH Fuck, that’s so …/ Of course you won’t./ You won’t because you can’t is why, you won’t because you don’t have a fucking leg to stand on, that’s how come, Greg. Not because you don’t have time or that you don’t need to, because you do. (Beat.) I think you owe me an explanation so it’s not for that reason so there must be some others, right? There must be a ton of other reasons you don’t wanna face me right now …/ Am I right about that? Hmm?

GREG No, that’s not …/ I’m totally happy to go somewhere—not today, but some time—and sit with you and discuss this. (Beat.) Discuss it like people do, over coffee or whatever, but not like two snarling dogs off in an empty lot … that’s ridiculous and, and … frankly, it’s just not cool … so no.

GREG is about to say something else but stops. Glances around for the cavalry to arrive. Sorry. Not today.

STEPH So, you won’t, then? Right? You will not?

GREG No, Steph, I won’t. You can’t make me.