KENT Don’t go there. (Beat.) My life is none of your business any more./ Off-limits.

GREG Sorry./ I wasn’t … trying to …

KENT Don’t worry about it. (Checks his watch.) I should go.

GREG Ok then.

KENT Tell Carly to ring me up if her car keeps giving her grief … she probably needs to get the oil changed is all … I tell her that all the time but she never listens to me.

GREG No, actually, I tried that. I changed it over the weekend.

KENT Yeah?

GREG Yep, so it’s not that …

KENT You did it, or you had it changed?

GREG What’s the difference?

KENT I just can’t picture you crawling under a car and working down there. That’s all.

GREG Fine. Yes, I had it done at Jiffy-Lube.

KENT Ok. That sounds more like it. (Beat.) So if she calls me I’ll check it out …

GREG Cool.

KENT Alright, see ya around, I guess. (Starts off.) You think Steph ever cheated on you?

GREG … Kent …

KENT I’m just asking.

GREG Are we really gonna keep doing this? Picking at each other, because … I’m …

KENT This has nothing to do with that! Fuck, just listen to me, okay?!! (Beat.) I am honestly asking you a question here …

GREG Fine. No, I don’t think so.

KENT Yeah?

GREG I’m almost sure “no.”

KENT And I’m not doubting that, I just asked you is all … (Beat.) But why are you so sure she didn’t? Huh?

GREG It’s … just a feeling. Since it never crossed my mind, ever, I guess I just feel secure about it …

KENT Yeah, I s’ppose you mostly only worry if it’s a pretty girl. Right?/ I mean …

GREG … dude …/ That is not cool …

KENT You know what I’m saying! I’m … (Beat.) I think Crystal’s fucking around on me.

GREG What?

KENT Maybe.

GREG Really?

KENT She’s so hot, I mean … every guy we walk by looks at her—stares—and I am right there!/ It’s fucking unbelievable!

GREG That sucks./ Damn.

KENT Yeah, but I mean … I am next to her! And I’m a decent-sized guy, athletic, they’ve gotta know they’re taking a chance but it still happens, all the time! Constantly! (Beat.) And she fucking loves it, I mean, the attention like that? Completely eats it up, and I don’t say anything, we keep moving on, we’re living together … but something has been gnawing at me for a little while now. Just things. Back on nights so it’s impossible to know what she’s up to … always off running around with her friends … so I just thought I’d ask. Whatever. (Beat.) It’s my problem.

KENT shrugs and kicks at the table for a beat. Waiting.

GREG … shit.

KENT I’ll figure it out. I just thought you might’ve dealt with it before …

GREG Not really.

KENT I know what you mean. As beautiful as Carly is … I never felt that fear. Not once … (Beat.) I was the asshole in our marriage, not her.