Back Reasons to be Happy Save as PDF
Contents ( 13)
  1. PRAISE FOR THE PLAYS OF NEIL LABUTE
  2. REASONS TO BE PRETTY
  3. IN A DARK DARK HOUSE
  4. WRECKS
  5. FAT PIG
  6. THE MERCY SEAT
  7. THE SHAPE OF THINGS
  8. BASH
  9. ALSO BY NEIL LABUTE
  10. Copyright
  11. Contents
  12. PREFACE
  13. REASONS TO BE HAPPY

STEPH pulls out the box of ice cream sandwiches. Tosses it to the ground and smashes the shit out of it with her shoe. Again and again.

STEPH … yeah, Greg. We’re cool.

STEPH turns and walks away without looking back. GREG is left standing alone with his crumpled bags of groceries.

GREG (To himself.) Oh boy.

At work.

CARLY sitting at the break room table, reading through an old magazine. Drinking a soda.

She yawns and checks the clock. Almost the end of another shift. A loud buzzer goes off. Twice.

After a moment, the door opens and KENT is standing there in the opening, wearing street clothes.

CARLY jumps to her feet, surprised. Oh shit.

KENT … hey.

CARLY Kent.

KENT Hi.

CARLY Hello.

KENT So … this really is kinda strange, isn’t it? Every time we … run into each other.

CARLY Ummmm, kinda. Yeah. (Standing.) Why’re you here … again?

KENT I was just … they let me go a little bit early this morning … you guys needed a couple boxes of those thingies we use to close up the, ahhh … you know?/ The clip-thingies that they use for shipping those new whatever-you-call-’ems?

CARLY No./ I’m not sure.

KENT The … fucking … you know! (Miming.) iPads.

CARLY Oh yeah. Those.

KENT Yep. I guess people need ’em so they can blog and shit … (Beat.) I said I’d bring ’em over and so I just … you know … so I did that.

CARLY Ok.

KENT Thought I’d check to see if you’re here.

CARLY You knew I was here. It’s Thursday morning so you knew I’d be here. (Beat.) I’m the kind of person who actually goes where they say they’re gonna go after telling someone where they’ll be.

KENT Right.

CARLY Unlike you.

KENT Hey, come on …

CARLY No, you come on.

KENT Let’s not fight. I’m only here for, like, two minutes.

CARLY Good.

CARLY goes to the fridge. Gets an apple and takes a bite.

KENT Jesus Christ. You gonna hate me forever?

CARLY I’m working on it. I feel like maybe at this rate … yeah … it’s gonna be forever.

KENT Fine. I’m just trying to be nice here.

CARLY Two minutes goes fast. You got anything else to say?

KENT Fuck. No. (Beat.) Can I have some coffee before I leave?

CARLY I don’t care. I didn’t make it.

KENT I mean, it’s company coffee. Just ’cause I’m over at the other plant, I should be able to have some when I’m on the clock.

CARLY Go for it, then. (Starting to pack up.) I need to get back up front …

KENT Why?

CARLY None of your business, that’s why.

KENT I’m just asking.

CARLY Because it’s the end of my shift, that’s why. Because I have paperwork to finish and people to check on, ok? I’m a shift supervisor now with increased duties …

KENT … God … ok, ok …

CARLY Because I don’t just stuff shit in boxes for a living, that’s why. Do you fucking mind? I have responsibilities …