“Holly! Help me!” Dramatic pause to gain momentum. “Helllllppppp!”

“Coming! Hang on!” I called back. “Oh, Lord,” I muttered.

“Help!”

“Is that Mith Katherine?” Tyler said.

“Who else would it be? QB! The big queen bee! You boys run along now. She’s okay. I promise!” I said and kind of sauntered back into the house at my own pace, discarding parts of my beekeeper outfit as I went through the back door. The boys turned on their heels and ran home. There was little doubt that they would report the bee facts I’d given them to their father. But I knew that they might or might not relate the story of my mother screaming bloody murder, because she did it all the time. How terrible that it happened so often that everyone took it for granted.

By the time I got to her room, I only had the overalls left to ditch, and there she was in all her glory, crumpled to the floor with her nightgown hiked up around her waist.

“Help me up,” she said.

I pulled her nightgown down to cover her lady parts, but there was no chance on this earth that I could lift her bulky weight. I reached for the phone to call 911.

“Pick me up, Holly!”

“Momma, you know I can’t do that. You’re too heavy.”

“That’s a damn lie. If your sister was here, she’d take care of me one helluva lot better than you do!”

“Well, she’s not here, is she?”

I tapped the numbers into the phone.

“What’s your emergency?”

“Hey, Darlene. It’s Holly Jensen over on the back beach? Momma fell out of bed, and well, you know, I can’t pick her up.”

“Don’t you even try to move her, Miss Holly. I’ll get Anthony over there in two shakes. I’m sure she’s okay, don’t you worry. How’re your bees doing? We sure have been enjoying the honey you gave us.”

“Oh, I’m so glad to know that. My bees are fine, thanks. Remember, there’s plenty more honey where that came from!”

Momma was instantly irked. “I’m lying here on the floor, maybe near death! And, you’re on the phone discussing bees and honey? You’ve got to be kidding me! What if my hip’s broken?”

I thanked Darlene and hung up. She had recently married Mark Tanenbaum, and everyone said she was the most beautiful bride they’d ever seen. He was a handsome devil, too.

“Momma? Your hip’s not broken. You’d be screaming in agony. And even if it is, there’s nothing wrong with being nice once in a while. You ought to try it.”

“Don’t be fresh with me. You’re only talking like that to me because I’m in a compromised position.”

“No, ma’am. I’m talking to you like that because I’m telling you the truth.”