“You’re hilarious,” I said, and whispered, “No. You’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” she whispered back.

“She wants us to keep the kids while they go off on their romantic honeymoon to Bermuda.”

“Of course, we’ll take care of them. We can only pray she dies from sunstroke. Or runs off with a pool boy.”

Leslie always took things to extremes.

“Isn’t it a sin to pray for something bad to happen to other people?” I said.

“Here, give me the carrots. I’ll peel them. Why don’t you ever ask for help?” she said, and I handed her a peeler.

“Sometimes it’s just easier to do it myself.”

“Well, it is not a sin to pray for the bad guys to get it. Go read the Book of Psalms in the Bible. There’s one where David asks God to pray his enemies home or something like that. People been praying for their enemies to die since forever!”

“If you say so.”

“Charlie called me this morning. Again,” she said.

“To talk about what?” I said.

“Nothing in particular,” Leslie said. “And that’s what’s so weird. He thinks everything between us is going to be fine. I told him he’s as crazy as hell.”

“Hmmm,” I said. “How could he think everything is fine?”

“Well, because we still love each other.”

My jaw dropped.

“How is that even possible?” I said. Boy, I really didn’t understand love at all. Not a bit.

“I don’t know, but it is.” She was peeling those carrots with a vengeance, long strands falling into the trash. Then she stopped and looked at me funny. “When’s the last time you had a professional haircut?”

“I trimmed it last year.”

“You cut your own hair?”

“What’s the matter with that?”

“I don’t know a single soul who cuts her own hair. Are you suffering with some kind of depression or something?”

“No.”

“You do realize you could make yourself more attractive than you do. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.”

“Why in the world would I change my looks? I mean, who’s looking at me?”

“Because, one, you never know who’s looking. And two, a good haircut and a little bit of makeup sends a message.”

“What does it say? For a good time, call Holly? Can we talk about something else?”

“No, you big dope. I’m just thinking, you don’t know who’s coming to the wedding. There might be someone there for you. And if you show up looking like hell, that fabulous guy will be lost forever!”

“I do not look like hell! And I’d be shocked if I liked any of Sharon’s friends.”

Momma waddled into the room and sat at the kitchen table.

“I don’t think I’d like any of her friends, either,” Momma said. “And Archie’s friends are probably too smart for you.”