We spent the rest of the afternoon making chicken parmigiana, which most children love. Then I made a salad of mozzarella balls and the tiniest cherry tomatoes I’d ever seen. And Holly had brought home Pepperidge Farm frozen garlic bread, which is my total favorite. Holly threw together a chocolate cake with a layer of marshmallows inside, which we knew the boys would love. In the end it was decided that the boys would definitely have dinner with Momma and Holly, and I, the family’s pinch hitter, would take a picnic over to Archie. And Holly had bought a decent bottle of red wine, hoping it would loosen his tongue and make him want to talk to me.

“You’ve got to get him to tell you all about Sharon and bring him to his senses,” Holly said.

“Yes,” Momma said, “you’ve got to make him see that Sharon is a terrible choice, most especially because of the impact she’ll have on his children. If you can’t get past first base with him, ask him what he thinks Carin would want for her children. Guilt is a good weapon.”

“I’ll do my best,” I said. “Hopefully, I’ll get to home plate.”

Surely, Sharon didn’t have any real assets that I didn’t? I mean, I knew Archie taught world religions and that she was a dentist. Those two professions were galaxies apart. I couldn’t see what they could have in common beyond carnal desire. So, around four that afternoon, I took the hot shower of my life, shampooed, shaved, tweezed, moisturized, perfumed, and boofed myself into my former, younger single self, and packed up dinner. Cleopatra could not have put any more intention and effort into the seduction of Mark Antony. The only things I didn’t have were a CD of Barry White’s and a scented candle.

Momma had been giggling all day at the prospect of how Archie would react to being alone with me. Holly was less enthused, but that was understandable. When they saw me, they stopped and exhaled a whoosh of surprise and anxiety.

“You’ve got this, sister,” Holly said.

“Poor bastard doesn’t stand a chance,” Momma said.

“Thanks, ladies.”

It was almost go time. If Holly was right, this might be our only bite of the apple. If she was wrong, I’d have a good time messing with Archie’s head anyway. I was just finishing a strategic application of cologne when I heard the boys come in the house. I picked up my purse and went to the kitchen to pick up dinner.

The boys were at the table with Momma and Holly.

Tyler said, “This is so cool to get to go out on a school night!”

Hunter, who was staring at me, said, “You smell really pretty. Do you have a date with our dad?”

This got Tyler’s attention right away.

“Do you?” he said.