I thought, Oh boy, exactly who is this new me going to turn out to be?

“So the climate here is one of the best things to recommend it. I mean, it’s hot like hell in July, but it’s hot in Maine in July, isn’t it?”

“Yes. And I think it’s pretty dry here, too, isn’t it?” I said.

“Yes, you’ll have great hair here.”

He drove, talking the whole time about all the things he loved about Las Vegas.

“I rented an apartment, too. Wait until you see it. It’s very tiny, but until I get to know the town, it’s very centrally located to the Strip and all that.”

“You rented an apartment? Charlie, we have a house in Ohio.”

“I’m aware,” he said. “But I have to tell you, you couldn’t pay me any amount of money in the entire world to shovel snow again.”

“You never shoveled snow. Not once. I did. And salted the walkways and steps.”

“Well. It was a pain in the neck to deal with all your complaining about shoveling it then.”

“Oh, Charlie.” What was he saying? “Are you saying we should sell our house in Glenwillow?”

“Not today. But if my plan works, yes, we should. You’ll like it here so much better. We’re close to Sedona, you know. A mere four-hour drive. We can go sit on the vortex and meditate.”

“The vortex?”

“Yes, the vortex. Sedona, Arizona, is in the Verde Valley, which is one of the most spectacular places on this entire planet. Think Wile E. Coyote. But there is the spot called the Red Rock that some people think is an alien spaceship or a portal to another dimension. It’s very popular with psychics and artists. Sedona used to be full of old people and hippies, but now it’s got more private jets coming and going than you can count.”

“What makes it a vortex? I mean, isn’t a vortex something that’s moving? Seems to me that the desert is pretty still.”

“I think you’re right, and I don’t know why they call it that, either. But it’s supposed to be a place where you meditate more deeply and maybe the cosmos speaks to you.”

“Yeah, well, right now the cosmos is telling me that you’re losing your grip on reality.”

We were driving along the famous Strip, where all the big casinos and hotels are located. It was very garish and loud. Not historic Charleston one teeny bit.

“No, I’m not. Isn’t this something?”

“You know, maybe it’s the Catholic girl in me, but I feel like if I look this place square in the eyeball, I’ll be turned into a pillar of salt.”