“No, I think I need to spend some time really thinking about where my marriage is going. You know? And what do I want my future to look like?”

“You say that like you’re in charge of it,” I said.

“What? My future? Of course, I’m in charge. And, darlin’ Holly, if you don’t think you’re in charge of yours, we’ve got a lot of talking to do.”

“I could probably use some direction, because I think I may have painted myself into a corner.”

“Well, then, we’ll have to find a way for you to paint yourself out. I mean, your life should make sense. Example, if you look at Charlie’s new lifestyle objectively, you can break it down to the point where it makes perfect sense,” she said.

“Oh, please. Let me hear this new slant on the world,” I said.

“Well, let’s start with the things Charlie never told me about his childhood,” she said.

“Wait a minute, I want to check the sky.” I got up, stepped outside, and looked up. Only half the stars were visible, so I went back to my rocker. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Well, he was attracted to pretty things—you know, jewelry, perfume, or just good smells in general.”

“Like what?”

“Well, fresh baskets of laundry that were still warm. He didn’t like the smell of people’s sweat. Apparently, when he got around anyone working in the yard in the heat of summer or around his father after a long tennis match, the smell of body odor made him nauseated.”

“Can’t say I’m a fan, either,” I said.

“Well, anyway, that extended into high school. You can imagine, the locker room was disgusting to him. He had no desire to play sports other than tennis or golf. He was drawn to music and theater and the arts. On and on it goes. Dad’s wool suits were scratchy. Mom’s silk dresses were super nice to touch. Trying them on was even better.”

“Where are we headed here?” I said.

“He was just simply never comfortable in the role of All-American Boy. But All-American Girl didn’t appeal to him, either. He says he always felt stuck somewhere in the middle. He always liked girls and was attracted to girls and girl things. And he loved musical theater, especially when he was cast in something that required costumes and makeup—like pirates or some Greek play where they wore togas. It was why he became the drum major in our marching band. And, gosh, he was so good at it. Do you remember?”