Chapters (82)
- PRACTICALDEMONKEEPING
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE
- CONTENTS
- Part 1
- SATURDAY NIGHT
- THE BREEZE
- Part 2
- SUNDAY
- PINE COVE
- TRAVIS
- ROBERT
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- THE DJINN’S STORY
- ARRIVAL
- ROBERT
- THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
- 10
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 11
- EFFROM
- 12
- JENNIFER
- Part 3
- SUNDAY NIGHT
- 13
- NIGHTFALL
- 14
- DINNER
- 15
- RACHEL
- 16
- HOWARD
- 17
- BILLY
- 18
- RACHEL
- 19
- JENNY’S HOUSE
- 20
- EFFROM
- 21
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 22
- TRAVIS AND JENNY
- Part 4
- MONDAY
- 23
- RIVERA
- 24
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 25
- AMANDA
- 26
- TRAVIS’S STORY
- 27
- AUGUSTUS
- 28
- EFFROM
- 29
- RIVERA
- 30
- JENNY
- 31
- GOOD GUYS
- 32
- THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
- 33
- RIVERA
- 34
- U-PICK-EM
- 35
- BAD GUYS, GOOD GUYS
- 36
- JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
- 37
- GOOD GUYS
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- About the Author
- PRAISE FORChristopher Moore
- ALSO BYChristopher Moore
- Credits
- Copyright
“A nail file.”
There was a pause. Had she offended the Earth spirit? Here was the first evidence that her magic could work and she had blown it by compromising the materials called for in the ritual.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “but it’s not easy to find a blade that’s been quenched in blood.”
“It’s okay.”
“If I had known, I…”
“No really, it’s okay.”
“Are you offended, Great Spirit?”
“I am about to bestow the greatest power in the world upon a woman who draws circles in the dirt with nail files. I don’t know. Give me a minute.”
“Then you will grant harmony to the hearts of the women in the coven?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” the voice said.
“That is why we summoned you, O Spiritto bring us harmony.”
“Oh, yeah, harmony. But there is a condition.”
“Tell me what you require of me, O Spirit.”
“I will return to you later, witch. If I find what I am looking for, I will need you to renounce the Creator and perform a ritual. In return you will be given the command of a power that can rule the Earth. Will you do this?”
Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn’t sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.
“Speak, woman! Or would you rather spend your life collecting gobs of hair from shower drains and fingernail parings from ashtrays?”
“How do you know about that?”
“I was destroying pagans when Charlemagne was alive. Now, answer; there is a hunger rising in me and I must go.”
“Destroying pagans? I thought the Earth spirits were benevolent.”
“We have our moments. Now, will you renounce the Creator?”
“Renounce the Goddess, I don’t know…”
“Not the Goddess! The Creator!”
“But the Goddess…”
“Wrong. The Creator, the All-Powerful. Help me out here, babeI’m not allowed to say his name.”
“You mean the Christian God?”
“Bingo! Will you renounce him?”
“I did that a long time ago.”
“Good. Wait here. I will be back.”
Rachel searched for a last word, but nothing came. She heard a rustling in the leaves outside and ran to the door. In the moonlight she could see the shapes of cattle standing in the nearby pasture and something moving among them. Something that was growing larger as it moved away toward town.
19
JENNY’S HOUSE
Jenny parked the Toyota behind Travis’s Chevy and killed the lights.
“Well?” Travis said.
Jenny said, “Would you like to come in?”
“Well.” Travis acted as if he had to think about it. “Yes, I’d love to.”
“Give me a minute to go in and clear a path, okay?”
“No problem, I need to check on something in my car.”