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Chapters (82)
  1. PRACTICALDEMONKEEPING
  2. CHRISTOPHER MOORE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. Part 1
  5. SATURDAY NIGHT
  6. THE BREEZE
  7. Part 2
  8. SUNDAY
  9. PINE COVE
  10. TRAVIS
  11. ROBERT
  12. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  13. THE DJINN’S STORY
  14. ARRIVAL
  15. ROBERT
  16. THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
  17. 10
  18. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  19. 11
  20. EFFROM
  21. 12
  22. JENNIFER
  23. Part 3
  24. SUNDAY NIGHT
  25. 13
  26. NIGHTFALL
  27. 14
  28. DINNER
  29. 15
  30. RACHEL
  31. 16
  32. HOWARD
  33. 17
  34. BILLY
  35. 18
  36. RACHEL
  37. 19
  38. JENNY’S HOUSE
  39. 20
  40. EFFROM
  41. 21
  42. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  43. 22
  44. TRAVIS AND JENNY
  45. Part 4
  46. MONDAY
  47. 23
  48. RIVERA
  49. 24
  50. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  51. 25
  52. AMANDA
  53. 26
  54. TRAVIS’S STORY
  55. 27
  56. AUGUSTUS
  57. 28
  58. EFFROM
  59. 29
  60. RIVERA
  61. 30
  62. JENNY
  63. 31
  64. GOOD GUYS
  65. 32
  66. THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
  67. 33
  68. RIVERA
  69. 34
  70. U-PICK-EM
  71. 35
  72. BAD GUYS, GOOD GUYS
  73. 36
  74. JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
  75. 37
  76. GOOD GUYS
  77. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  78. About the Author
  79. PRAISE FORChristopher Moore
  80. ALSO BYChristopher Moore
  81. Credits
  82. Copyright

“A nail file.”

There was a pause. Had she offended the Earth spirit? Here was the first evidence that her magic could work and she had blown it by compromising the materials called for in the ritual.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but it’s not easy to find a blade that’s been quenched in blood.”

“It’s okay.”

“If I had known, I…”

“No really, it’s okay.”

“Are you offended, Great Spirit?”

“I am about to bestow the greatest power in the world upon a woman who draws circles in the dirt with nail files. I don’t know. Give me a minute.”

“Then you will grant harmony to the hearts of the women in the coven?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” the voice said.

“That is why we summoned you, O Spirit—to bring us harmony.”

“Oh, yeah, harmony. But there is a condition.”

“Tell me what you require of me, O Spirit.”

“I will return to you later, witch. If I find what I am looking for, I will need you to renounce the Creator and perform a ritual. In return you will be given the command of a power that can rule the Earth. Will you do this?”

Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet she was speaking to the evidence. But to be offered the power to rule the world? She wasn’t sure her career in exercise instruction had prepared her for this.

“Speak, woman! Or would you rather spend your life collecting gobs of hair from shower drains and fingernail parings from ashtrays?”

“How do you know about that?”

“I was destroying pagans when Charlemagne was alive. Now, answer; there is a hunger rising in me and I must go.”

“Destroying pagans? I thought the Earth spirits were benevolent.”

“We have our moments. Now, will you renounce the Creator?”

“Renounce the Goddess, I don’t know…”

“Not the Goddess! The Creator!”

“But the Goddess…”

“Wrong. The Creator, the All-Powerful. Help me out here, babe—I’m not allowed to say his name.”

“You mean the Christian God?”

“Bingo! Will you renounce him?”

“I did that a long time ago.”

“Good. Wait here. I will be back.”

Rachel searched for a last word, but nothing came. She heard a rustling in the leaves outside and ran to the door. In the moonlight she could see the shapes of cattle standing in the nearby pasture and something moving among them. Something that was growing larger as it moved away toward town.

19

JENNY’S HOUSE

Jenny parked the Toyota behind Travis’s Chevy and killed the lights.

“Well?” Travis said.

Jenny said, “Would you like to come in?”

“Well.” Travis acted as if he had to think about it. “Yes, I’d love to.”

“Give me a minute to go in and clear a path, okay?”

“No problem, I need to check on something in my car.”