Chapters (82)
- PRACTICALDEMONKEEPING
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE
- CONTENTS
- Part 1
- SATURDAY NIGHT
- THE BREEZE
- Part 2
- SUNDAY
- PINE COVE
- TRAVIS
- ROBERT
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- THE DJINN’S STORY
- ARRIVAL
- ROBERT
- THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
- 10
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 11
- EFFROM
- 12
- JENNIFER
- Part 3
- SUNDAY NIGHT
- 13
- NIGHTFALL
- 14
- DINNER
- 15
- RACHEL
- 16
- HOWARD
- 17
- BILLY
- 18
- RACHEL
- 19
- JENNY’S HOUSE
- 20
- EFFROM
- 21
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 22
- TRAVIS AND JENNY
- Part 4
- MONDAY
- 23
- RIVERA
- 24
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 25
- AMANDA
- 26
- TRAVIS’S STORY
- 27
- AUGUSTUS
- 28
- EFFROM
- 29
- RIVERA
- 30
- JENNY
- 31
- GOOD GUYS
- 32
- THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
- 33
- RIVERA
- 34
- U-PICK-EM
- 35
- BAD GUYS, GOOD GUYS
- 36
- JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
- 37
- GOOD GUYS
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- About the Author
- PRAISE FORChristopher Moore
- ALSO BYChristopher Moore
- Credits
- Copyright
The monster stopped just inside the room. Even crouching over, its shoulders hit the ceiling. Billy cowered by the sliding door, still clawing under the curtains at the safety bar. The monster looked around the room, its huge head turning back and forth like a searchlight. To Billy’s amazement, it reached around and turned on the lights. It seemed to be studying the bed.
“Does that have Magic Fingers?” it said.
“What!” Billy said. It came out a scream.
“That bed has Magic Fingers, right?”
Billy pulled the safety bar loose and hurled it at the monster. The heavy steel bar hit the monster in the face and rattled to the floor. The monster showed no reaction. Billy reached for the latch on the door and started to pull it open.
The monster scuttled forward, reached over Billy’s head, and pushed the door shut with one clawed finger. Billy yanked on the door but it was held fast. He collapsed under the monster with a long, agonizing wail.
“Give me a quarter,” the monster said.
Billy looked up into the huge lizard face. The monster’s grin was nearly two feet wide. “Give me a quarter!” it repeated.
Billy dug into his pocket, came out with a handful of change, and timidly held it up to the monster.
Still holding the door shut with one hand, the monster reached down with the other and plucked a quarter from Billy’s hand with two claws, using them like chopsticks.
“Thanks,” it said. “I love Magic Fingers.”
The demon let go of the door. “You can go now,” it said.
Before he could think about it, Billy threw the door open and dove through. He was climbing to his feet when something caught him by the leg from behind and dragged him back into the room.
“I was just kidding. You can’t go.”
The monster held Billy upside down by his leg while it dropped the quarter into the little metal box on the nightstand.
Billy flailed in the air, screaming and clawing at the demon, ripping his fingernails against its scales. The monster took Billy into its arms like a teddy bear and lay back on the bed. Its feet hung off the end and nearly touched the dresser on the opposite wall.
Billy could not scream; there was no breath for a scream. The monster let go with one arm and placed one long claw at Billy’s ear.
“Don’t you just love Magic Fingers?” it said. Then it drove the claw though Billy’s brain.