Back Practical Demonkeeping Save as PDF
Chapters (82)
  1. PRACTICALDEMONKEEPING
  2. CHRISTOPHER MOORE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. Part 1
  5. SATURDAY NIGHT
  6. THE BREEZE
  7. Part 2
  8. SUNDAY
  9. PINE COVE
  10. TRAVIS
  11. ROBERT
  12. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  13. THE DJINN’S STORY
  14. ARRIVAL
  15. ROBERT
  16. THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
  17. 10
  18. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  19. 11
  20. EFFROM
  21. 12
  22. JENNIFER
  23. Part 3
  24. SUNDAY NIGHT
  25. 13
  26. NIGHTFALL
  27. 14
  28. DINNER
  29. 15
  30. RACHEL
  31. 16
  32. HOWARD
  33. 17
  34. BILLY
  35. 18
  36. RACHEL
  37. 19
  38. JENNY’S HOUSE
  39. 20
  40. EFFROM
  41. 21
  42. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  43. 22
  44. TRAVIS AND JENNY
  45. Part 4
  46. MONDAY
  47. 23
  48. RIVERA
  49. 24
  50. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  51. 25
  52. AMANDA
  53. 26
  54. TRAVIS’S STORY
  55. 27
  56. AUGUSTUS
  57. 28
  58. EFFROM
  59. 29
  60. RIVERA
  61. 30
  62. JENNY
  63. 31
  64. GOOD GUYS
  65. 32
  66. THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
  67. 33
  68. RIVERA
  69. 34
  70. U-PICK-EM
  71. 35
  72. BAD GUYS, GOOD GUYS
  73. 36
  74. JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
  75. 37
  76. GOOD GUYS
  77. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  78. About the Author
  79. PRAISE FORChristopher Moore
  80. ALSO BYChristopher Moore
  81. Credits
  82. Copyright

To the guy in Tulsa, Roxanne was a shy little flower; to Wichita she was a dominatrix. The desk clerk in Seattle saw her as a leather-clad biker chick. The old man in Arizona thought she was a struggling single mother of two, barely making it on a desk clerk’s salary. He always wanted to send her money. There were ten of them in all. Roxanne gave them what they needed. They loved her.

Billy heard the double doors of the lobby open, but he did not look up. He finished typing his message and pressed the SEND button. “Can I help you,” he said mechanically, still not looking up.

“You betcha,” a voice said. Two huge reptilian hands clacked down on the counter about four feet on each side of Billy. He looked up into the open mouth of the demon coming at his face. Billy pushed back from the keyboard. His heel caught in the rung of the stool and he went over backward as the giant maw snapped shut above him. Billy let loose a long, sirenlike scream and began scrambling on his hands and knees behind the counter toward the back office. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw the demon crawling over the counter after him.

Once in the office, Billy leapt to his feet and slammed the door. As he turned to run out the back door, he heard the door fly open and slam against the wall.

The back door of the office led into a long corridor of rooms. Billy pounded on the doors as he passed. No one opened a door, but there were angry shouts from inside the rooms.

Billy turned and saw the demon filling the far end of the corridor. It was in a crouch, moving down the corridor on all fours, crawling awkward and batlike in the confined space. Billy dug in his pocket for his pass key, found it, and ran down the hallway and around the corner. Making the corner, he twisted his ankle. White pain shot up his leg, and he cried out. He limped to the closest door. The images of women in horror movies who twisted their ankles and feebly fell into the clutches of the monster raced through his head. Damn high heels.

He fumbled the key into the lock while looking back down the hallway. The door opened and Billy fell into the room just as the monster rounded the corner behind him.

He kicked the stiletto heel off his good foot, vaulted up and hopped across the empty room to the sliding glass door. The safety bar was set. He fell to his knees and began clawing at it. The only light in the room was coming from the hallway, and suddenly that was eclipsed. The monster was working its way through the doorway.

“What the fuck are you!” Billy screamed.