And I put nothing in the Jar of Quiet Thoughts nearby.

Because there is not one thing I might say to the world

which the world does not already know.

I sit. And I listen.

When I return to California,

to my life with its many engines – I find myself changed,

the city somehow muted, frenetic and fully charged with living, yes,

but still, when gifted with this silence, motions have more

of a dance to them, like fish in schools of hunger, once

flashing in sunlight, now turning in shadow.

NOTES

Epigraph (13) (I embrace the frightful and the beautiful) is by Abd al-Wahhab al-Bayati (1926–99) from section five of his poem ‘Transformations of Aisha: Aisha’s Birth and Death in the Magical Rituals Inscribed in Cuneiform on the Nineveh Tablets’, translated by Saadi Simawe, Iraqi Poetry Today: Modern Poetry in Translation, no. 19 (King’s College London, 2003), 51.

Howl Wind (17)

Classical Poems by Arab Women, edited by Abdullah al-Udhari (London: Saqi Books, 1999), 26.

Viking 1 (24)

Epigraph is from NASA’s Mars Exploration Program webpage.

Al-A’imma Bridge (32)

The epigraph is a quote from President Jalal Talabani, 31 August 2005, from a CNN reported story (‘Iraq Mourns Stampede Victims’). It was reported that 965 died and that over 400 were injured. Not one shot was fired – someone in the crowd of worshippers was said to have claimed a suicide bomber was among them, and panic ensued.

Freaky Freaky is a slang term used to denote bootlegged porn videos, copied onto blank disks and sold, usually, for one US dollar. I personally had Iraqi children try to hawk all of the items mentioned in this poem as my unit would prepare to enter US bases in Iraq, to include having children offer foil-wrapped packages they hawked as ‘Heroin’.

Guarding the Bomber (37)

In the Qur’an, it is said that at the very pit of Hell (known as Jahannam or as al-Nar), there are a certain number of angels (the number of angels will be debated, it says) – these angels have the duty of keeping those condemned to Jahannam from escaping its flames and hooks.

Madinat Al-Salam (54)

Madinat Al-Salam is part of the ancient city, which later became known as Baghdad.

Epigraph is from Amina Elbendary’s article ‘They Came ToBaghdad’ (Al-Ahram Weekly Online, Issue No. 634, 17-23 April 2003).

Tell Me, Beautiful One, from Where Did the Lord Bring You? (57)

The title and its Arabic transliteration are by Douad Al-Kuwaity (1910–76) and Saleh Al-Kuwaity (1908–86), from the album Masters of Iraqi Music (ARC Music Productions Int. Ltd, released in 2008). For more information on the killings, which took place outside Mandali, Iraq on 24 October 2004, see Edward Wong’s report in the New York Times, ‘Ambush Kills 50 Iraq Soldiers Execution Style’ (25 October 2004).

Insignia (52)

Epigraph is from the CBS Evening News story by Katie Couric (17 March 2009), ‘Sexual Assault Permeates U.S. Armed Forces’.