“Money, success, power. Those were her drugs of choice. She has this pathological need to be at the top of the food chain. I just didn’t see it until it was too late. Have you ever had one of those moments that changes the entire way you view the world?”

“I’ve had two of them.” When Grant left me. And when I lost my girl. I thought I’d never hurt worse than when Grant walked away without a care in the world. But the Universe had a funny way of showing you just what was important. I’d never known what true pain was until the day I lost my daughter.

“I’m sorry.” Crosby had gotten close without me even noticing it, that vital heat seeping out around him. “I’m sorry so many people have let you down. Hurt you.”

“I’m not.” I slipped my hands into the pockets of Crosby’s fleece, bringing us even closer. “It showed me what was truly important in life. Who I could really trust.”

“That’s a high price to pay for those gifts.”

But Crosby was wrong. My mother being a crap mom, disappearing and never even bothering to send a birthday card, Grant breaking my heart and spitting on the pieces…that hurt, but it was a teaching kind of pain. I was grateful for it. But losing my girl before she even had a chance to breathe her first breath? Nothing would ever cost as much as that unfulfilled promise.

That life stolen.

20

Crosby

The weekend kept playing over and over in my mind. Not even a lunchtime ride down the toughest trail on Mount Orcas seemed to clear the image of Kenna’s face from my mind, her eyes filled with a pain that I could only describe as soul-deep.

I wanted to know everything. Every last person and event that had put that agony there. But Kenna would only give me so much. We’d spent Saturday evening tangled in her sheets, but then she’d kicked me to the curb. It was as if she had this invisible countdown clock when it came to time with me, while I always wanted more. And it wasn’t just more time touching her skin, losing myself in her body. I wanted Kenna everywhere and in any way I could have her.

The thought tweaked an itch beneath my skin, the one that wanted to drive back to the mountain and do the ride all over again. The energy that seemed to hum beneath the surface of my skin, growing twitchy at the idea of wanting more with anyone. My hands tightened on the steering wheel. The woman was mysterious, intriguing. That was all. We’d have our fun, and then we’d leave it as friends. Kenna wasn’t exactly giving me any signals that she wanted more, quite the opposite actually.