My stomach clenched at the thought, my hand going there immediately. There was forever the feeling of a void in my womb. It ebbed and flowed. Often, I didn’t even notice it, but other times, it was a painful, vicious emptiness. But I never wanted the feeling to disappear altogether. Because I never wanted to forget my little girl.

“Kenna? Are you all right?”

I blinked rapidly, coming out of my spiral. “Sorry, I just got lost in my thoughts.”

Ingrid smiled, but it was hesitant. “I know how that is. Tell you what, I’ll send you an email with some resources to check out.”

“Thank you. That’s very kind.”

We slipped back into casual conversation, but the whole time, I was dying inside.

32

Kenna

“You’ve been in another world tonight.”

I jolted a bit at Crosby’s words. “What?”

He chuckled, but there was worry in his eyes. “I said that you’ve been in another world tonight.”

“Just thinking about some things Ingrid told me.” I’d been thinking of nothing but those words and the memories they’d unleashed since we left the Wilson home. I’d barely uttered two words during dinner, and now I’d missed half of the movie we were supposed to be watching.

Crosby hit pause on my remote. “What did she say?”

I lifted my tea from the side table and took a sip. “She said I should think about applying to be a foster parent.”

Crosby’s brows rose. “That’s a high compliment coming from her. Would you consider it?”

“I don’t know that I’d get approved.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

I couldn’t read Crosby’s tone. He seemed to be holding something back. “It’s not as easy for single caregivers to get approved. Ingrid said as much.”

Crosby picked at the label on his beer. “I see plenty of single-parent fosters come through the Alliance.”

“Maybe. I’d have to think about it a lot before I pursued it.” Understatement of the century. I’d probably be going through a nervous breakdown or two before then, as well.

“There’s something else.”

My heart picked up its pace, thrumming against my ribs. “What do you mean?”

Crosby eyed me carefully. “Some other reason you’re holding back.”

I wanted to curse. It was as if he had radar for all my bruises and scars. He wouldn’t stop until he tended to each one. But Crosby didn’t understand that the more he pulled out my secrets, the more he was a shoulder to lean on, the harder this would be in the end. “There are lots of reasons it might not be a great idea. Or I might not be ready. Maybe it’s something I’ll do when I’m older.”

Crosby set his beer down on the coffee table. “I thought we were past this.”

“Past what?”