I cringed as I sent the message. It sounded desperate and needy. But I was worried. What if Crosby had gotten hurt climbing. I had no idea where he’d gone. My heart rate picked up. Oh, God. What if he was hurt and cold and alone right now? I swung my feet out of bed, moving to pull on sweats. My phone buzzed.

Bell: Yup. He and his friend are entertaining the entire bar. Why? Is he supposed to be with you? Want me to kick his butt out of here?

I stared at my phone for a long moment. He was fine. And I was the last thing on his mind.

Me: No, he’s fine. I just hadn’t heard from him after going rock climbing and wanted to make sure he was okay. You know my paranoia about extreme sports. Let him have his fun.

I wasn’t going to be the one who tried to pull him back. I wasn’t going to be another Alicia in his life, trying to control and change him. But it didn’t change the fact that Crosby might not be what I needed. I didn’t want to question where the man in my life was late at night. Didn’t want to wonder who he was with. I’d been through that before, and I had no desire to revisit it. And more than anything, I wanted to feel like a gift in someone’s life. Never again did I want to feel like a burden.

43

Crosby

I took another long sip of my coffee as the owner of The Mad Baker set down my donut. Jules gave me a long once-over. “You’re looking a little worse for wear.”

I forced a grin that I knew fell short. “Nothing one of your bacon maple bars won’t cure.”

“You’re too old to be tying one on like that.”

“I’m a twenty-one-year-old at heart. Doesn’t that count for something?”

She shook her head. “The older you get, the steeper the price for a night out on the town.”

I winced. She wasn’t wrong about that. I glanced down at my phone. Nothing from Kenna. I’d texted her at one a.m. when the bar closed and hadn’t heard a peep in response. She’d probably been asleep. I’d fucked up royally. I hadn’t meant to. But Alicia had gotten another phone after I’d blocked her number and had begun texting me around six, demanding to meet. I’d put my cell on silent and shoved it into my pocket. I’d then proceeded to have one too many drinks with Michael, conveniently forgetting about all of my problems—Kenna, along with them.