“Come on, keep up. Batman, Spider-Man, Iron Man, and you, Ross, aka Aquaman. Sorry it’s so gendered, and sure, you don’t really give off the Jason Momoa vibes, but the street was swarming with actors in character trying to make a buck. People will just think you’re one of them, especially if we post it first. Control the narrative. That Trojan condom truck actually might be a blessing. It’s your Trojan horse!”

“Holy shit, you’re right,” Sean breathes. “You’ll be hiding in plain sight.”

I flick my fin in annoyance, the shift in weight making Sean stumble. I’m sure it must be hard to hold up a full-grown merperson out of the water, but I’m more concerned about the nonsense they’re saying. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! How in the Blue would a horse help?”

“Not a horse, a Trojan horse,” Sean says simply, and I’ve never wanted to slap someone across the face with my fin more than in this moment.

Kavya catches my death glare and launches into an explanation. “So these old guys were battling over a woman, right? Back in the days when women were forbidden from making decisions for themselves and men thought it was cool to kill thousands of people just so they could get the lady they wanted even if she didn’t want them. Anyway, this one dude created a huge wooden horse and left it as a gift to the ruler of the city who had ‘stolen’ his girl, and he and all his warrior besties were hiding in it. When the horse was brought inside, they waited until everyone was asleep and ransacked the place.”

“Um, yeah, I don’t plan on ransacking anything,” I say. “I just want to go back to the ocean before anybody puts me in a tank for their amusement.”

Kavya waves her hand dismissively. “You can totally leave the ransacking part out. The point is, you’ll be hiding right in front of everybody. Now, if you get soaked in front of people again, we have video evidence that this is what you do. You throw on a merfin and show up places so you can put it on social media. I’m a certified genius!”

It can’t be that easy, can it? Are humans really that oblivious that they’d see magic right in front of them and think it’s a gimmick? Sean and Kavya stare at me as I mull this over, but no alternatives swim to mind. It’s not like I can just jump into the ocean now before I help Sean, anyway.

Since it’s the only option I have, I finally sigh and say, “Humans are all a bunch of self-centered idiots, so this could work.”