‘Fine, fine, I’m getting in,’ I breathed, slipping out of my cardigan as quickly as possible. Juliette said nothing, her eyes still hidden behind her huge, mirrored sunglasses. It seemed impossible to straighten your shoulders, suck in your stomach, stick out your arse and walk all at the same time, but I did my best, certain that she was watching me behind the dark lenses. Juliette’s body was perfect to me, all soft curves and glowing skin. Next to her, I felt like an undercooked fish that had been left out on the side for too long.

‘I love that suit,’ she said, once I was safely hidden under the warm, bubbling water. ‘Who is it by?’

‘I’m not sure, Sarah gave it to me,’ I replied, cupping a hand over my eyes and noting the difference between asking ‘who is it by?’ rather than ‘where is it from?’. Subtle but not insignificant. ‘I didn’t realize I would need one.’

‘Looks like it was made for you.’ She sank lower and lower until only her face was above the water. ‘But then anything would look amazing with your boobs.’

‘Really?’ I rearranged the simple straps of my suit and considered my extremely average 36Bs. ‘I’ve always thought they’re a bit small to fill out a swimming costume.’

‘That’s because we’re never happy with what we’ve got.’ Juliette sighed as she reached one arm out of the hot tub, patting along the deck until she found a large, colourful cocktail with several umbrellas sticking out of it. ‘I super appreciate the body positivity movement, but I think that I’m too old for it to take. Ever since I was born, people have been telling me how I need to lose weight and be as thin as possible and now, overnight I’m supposed to what? Feel good about myself? It’s madness, I tell you. I wouldn’t know where to start.’

‘Your body is incredible,’ I insisted, and having stayed up half the night reading up on my new boss and looking at roughly one thousand paparazzi photos of her taken from every conceivable angle, I spoke with complete authority. ‘You should feel better than good about yourself.’

‘Well, yes, we all should,’ she replied. ‘But I’m not allowed. Not according to those lovely magazines that like to circle the parts they don’t consider up to scratch. And pretty much every single person on the internet.’

‘Ahh, that well-respected critical body,’ I pulled my legs away when our toes touched, scooting them off to the side to avoid any future transgressions. ‘You’re gorgeous. If you can’t feel good about yourself, what hope do the rest of us have?’

She lowered her sunglasses and looked at me with smiling eyes. ‘I think you just hit the nail on the head. Look at us, brilliant at complimenting each other, but entirely incapable of thinking good things about ourselves.’