‘Is there any upside at all?’ she asked. ‘Because I’m not sure there’s anything in this for me.’

‘Well, you do get some stuff out of it,’ I said thoughtfully. ‘They have to support you when you’re being a dick as well, remember. And it’s nice to have someone you can trust, to talk to when you’re going through difficult stuff, and celebrate with when things are going well. Also worth noting a friend would probably be quite interested to know more about those secret tunnels at Disneyland.’

‘In that case,’ Juliette took a deep breath in, then exhaled steadily, ‘Fran, would you like to be my friend?’

‘How about a trial period?’ I suggested. ‘Option to extend after ninety days if you’re not too much of an arsehole?’

‘I believe those terms are acceptable,’ she said gravely before clapping her hands together. ‘Now, that’s business taken care of, I was deadly serious about those pancakes. Can I call Chef?’

‘I don’t know,’ I replied. ‘Can you?’

She clipped me around the back of the head and she reached for the phone. ‘Some friend you are.’

‘Shut up and order those pancakes,’ I ordered, the very idea of food giving me life. ‘And don’t make me regret this.’

‘Oh, I almost certainly will,’ she called as I headed towards the wardrobe to find some clothes. ‘But I promise I’ll do my best.’

And in my heart of hearts, I believed her.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Just like me, London wasn’t quite sure what to with itself when I arrived back on Tuesday morning. The last two days on The Songbird had been completely wonderful, but even as I lounged in the hot tub with my new pal, I knew I was only delaying the inevitable. Juliette and I had been on a total friendship binge – eating (mostly me), drinking (mostly her), watching all our favourite 90s films in the cinema, staying up late to discuss every last little thought that crossed our minds and generally torturing Lenny – but I knew the real world was only time away. After putting her on a private jet to Los Angeles for a recording session, I boarded my own economy flight back to London and came down to earth with a literal bump. Very messy landing from the pilot.