I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and opened up the little pocket inside, taking out the diamond engagement ring. His shoulders sagged at the sight of it, at the realisation it wasn’t on my finger. He hadn’t noticed until now.

‘Why?’ I held it between my thumb and forefinger, studying it properly for the first time in ages. It really was a pretty ring but it wasn’t what I would have chosen for myself. Stew hadn’t even chosen it, it was just available and convenient, like me. ‘What made you propose?’

‘Because I thought it would fix things,’ he replied, drawn and defeated. ‘I know you’ve never forgiven me for what I did but I thought if I asked you to marry me, you could get over it and be happy.’

‘I did forgive you,’ I said. ‘The problem was I never forgave myself.’

He looked at me, confused. ‘That doesn’t make any sense.’

‘I know,’ I said, because he was right, it didn’t. ‘Are you happy, Stew?’

He drew his shoulders up to his ears, then, slowly, shook his head and pressed his palms against his face, shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs.

Just like that, it was over. After all the years I’d spent panicking about what would happen if I lost him, I’d ended up giving him away.

I remembered the flush of confusion and relief I’d felt when he slid the ring onto my finger in front of all his friends and family three years ago, and as I pressed it into his palm and folded his hand closed around the sparkling diamonds, something similar washed over me. I’d done the hard thing. I’d been brave.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered, rubbing his face with the back of his hand. ‘I do love you.’

‘And I love you too,’ I replied. ‘I think that’s why this feels so bloody horrible.’

He sniffed loudly and folded me into his arms for one last hug. ‘I really thought things would get better.’

‘So did I,’ I said, squeezing him tightly as I said goodbye. ‘And now I think they will.’

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The next day, Jess whirled through the door of the café, removing her winter layers as she settled in her seat.

‘I’ve only got half an hour for lunch,’ she declared as she unfurled her scarf from around her neck. ‘Tell me everything. Who did you meet? Who did you see? What did you eat? Shock me.’

‘Me and Stew broke up,’ I replied.

She froze, holding her bright pink earmuffs inches away from her ears.

‘Congratulations, I’m officially shocked,’ she replied, mouth agape. ‘Fran, are you all right?’

‘Yeah, I think so.’ I pushed the coffee and muffin I’d ordered for her across the table. ‘I’m mostly relieved.’