‘We’ll keep this brief because I don’t have a lot of time,’ Sarah said. She was all business, just the way I liked it. ‘Obviously, I’ve got your CV and you answered the questionnaire quite well, so this meeting is to see whether or not you personally meet my requirements.’

I gave a terse smile and nodded sharply to show I understood. Understood that I was great on paper and if I didn’t get the job, it was entirely because I was shit in person.

‘Believe me when I say we’ve seen half of London for this job,’ she went on. ‘It might seem simple, but if you want to do it right, there’s a lot to learn, and fast.’

Just like fishtail braids and blowjobs, and I was really only good at one of those things.

‘I am always up for a challenge,’ I said, flipping my perfect fishtail braid over my shoulder. Hadn’t Rose said the face-to-face was just a formality? It certainly didn’t feel like a formality. It felt like Sarah Pierce was looking for reasons not to employ me.

Her forehead creased into deep furrows as she picked up a piece of paper from her desk, and I immediately recognized the font. It was my CV. I pressed my clammy palms against the leg of my smart black trousers and cleared my throat. Once upon a time, I’d enjoyed the challenge of an interview – it was like trying to act against someone, only you hadn’t seen the script and you had to guess all the right lines. But today I was more nervous than I was prepared to admit. I really, really wanted this job. I needed it. I had something to prove.

‘I’m very capable,’ I added, silently trying to communicate that she could absolutely trust me, that I respected her, and that I also really liked her top. ‘I pick up new skills very quickly and I’m extremely reliable.’

‘Yes, it says all that here,’ she replied, giving absolutely no indication she believed me. ‘The things I need to know aren’t on your CV. Tell me, Fran, are you capable of discretion and do you have common sense?’

‘Oh yes. Me to a T.’

There was no need for her to know about the time I tried to iron my shirt collar with my hair straighteners. While I was wearing it.