I watched him go until he disappeared completely, reeling from how close I’d come to kissing him two minutes earlier. Pulling a soft, grey blanket from a nearby pile, I settled onto a day bed and waited for someone to do something for me. Something else I wasn’t used to. The bed was big and plush and hidden heaters sensed my presence, bathing the entire bed in a warm haze, and if it weren’t for the fact I would eventually need a wee, there was a good chance I would have nailed my feet to the floor. I was in heaven.

Resting against a stack of cushions, I searched the sky for constellations I used to know, thinking about Evan’s jigsaw theory. It was in my nature to help, I liked to be useful, but I also knew that solving other people’s problems meant I didn’t have to think about my own. I’d put years into Stew’s jigsaw, while mine was still in the box, barely even looked at. I twisted the fringe on the edge of the blanket around my finger until it was so tight it hurt. There was a difference between being helpful and making yourself indispensable. The more I did for Stew, the more likely he was to stay. The more he relied on me, the fewer reasons he had to leave. A big fat tear ran down my cheek and I swiped it away in anger. I was killing myself to keep something because I was afraid to lose it, but I hadn’t even stopped to think whether or not I really wanted it any more.

‘I’m back!’ Evan reappeared with an enormous tray full of food in his arms. ‘They had a bunch of stuff, sandwiches, sliders, I got you more cheese, obviously, and shit, Francesca, what’s wrong? What happened?’

He froze at the foot of the day bed, a look of genuine concern on his face.

‘Nothing,’ I insisted, rubbing my face and smiling manically. ‘This looks fantastic.’

He set the tray down on the bottom of the bed and sat down next to me. ‘You look like you just found out eating too much cheese could kill you. Which it can, but that’s a problem for your future cardiologist, so what’s wrong?’

‘I was thinking about what you said,’ I replied, reaching out for a hunk of artery-clogging Cheddar. ‘About the jigsaws.’

‘Francesca, no.’ Evan retrieved a bottle of champagne from the tray and popped the cork without ceremony. He filled two plastic cups and I accepted mine without protest. ‘It’s just a thing to say, I don’t know what I’m talking about. Honestly, ask literally anyone here, they’ll tell you that.’

I suspected Orlander and her friends might consider him an expert in at least one thing, but thinking about that would do nothing to help me in the moment.