Slowly but surely, the ball began to descend towards the floor as the orchestra went into overdrive and everyone in the ballroom began to cheer and yell and scream. I, for a none-too-brief moment, began to panic. Had I got myself in a Wicker Man situation? Were they going to drag me out and offer me up as a sacrifice to their god, Jeff Bezos? I couldn’t decide which would be worse, being torn limb from limb by a bunch of maniacal billionaires or having to get out, stand up, and walk out of the room on my own two feet. At least a sacrificial death would be quick.

As the music and the screaming grew louder, I hung on to the edges of my crystal ball as it moved towards the stage. The floor was only a few feet away, but there would be no easy escape. There were people everywhere, I was completely surrounded. With the ball rocking from side to side, I attempted to kick open the side door. Maybe if I slithered to the ground like a very fancily dressed snake and attempted to roll all the way out of the ball, people would be so confused, they wouldn’t try to stop me. But it was no use. I was still about ten feet off the floor.

And then, somehow, things got even worse.

A large central section of floor of the ball gave way and the rest of the confetti billowed out in a giant cloud of glittery excitement. People bloody loved confetti. The crowd went wild and, without warning, the ball dropped three feet in two seconds.

‘Fuck!’ I screamed, losing my footing and sliding towards the gaping hole in the floor. I clung on to the sides, my fingers slipping against the fibreglass and my feet already poking through the floor.

‘Francesca!’ Evan waved both arms from the side of the stage. ‘What are you doing?’

‘What does it look like I’m doing?’ I shouted back over the music, a now very intense and string-heavy rendition of ‘Dynamite’ that I did not appreciate in the slightest.

The ball was still for a moment, hovering six or seven feet above the stage, and I realized it was now or never. I had to jump.

‘Wait!’ Evan yelled as I inched over the edge.

I looked up at the ceiling as the orchestra roared to a crescendo, and then the entire ballroom was filled with yet more sparkling confetti. Glitter canons exploded above my head and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Evan climb onto the stage and hold his arms out underneath me. What had seemed somewhat possible a moment ago now looked like a terribly long way to fall.

‘Jump!’

‘I was going to,’ I replied, trying to scramble back into the ball as it swung back and forth. ‘But now I don’t know if it’s a very good idea!’