‘The carnival? Sure,’ he replied. ‘We can do whatever you want, Francesca’s in charge. You ready?’

Nodding, I stuffed the last few bites of cheese into my chipmunk cheeks and gave the server a warning look. I would be back for the rest.

‘I know we said no personal questions, but you’ve got to give me something. Purely for research purposes, you understand,’ Evan said as we passed through the rear doors of the hotel and under a towering archway that declared our arrival at the Crystal Ball Carnival. ‘If I’m going to make your evening unforgettable, I’m going to need some more info. Likes, dislikes, allergies, political allegiance, whether you have any strong feelings about the Red Sox. That kind of thing.’

‘Is the Red Sox an American football team?’ I asked, and his face relaxed into a huge smile.

‘No, they are not,’ he replied. ‘But that was a helpful answer. So, I know you like cheese, being in control, and you know nothing about baseball. What else is there?’

I watched as someone who looked an awful lot like an actor from one of Stew’s favourite superhero movies attempted to hook a crystal duck with a sparkly pole. On the back wall of the booth, dozens of little blue boxes tied with white ribbon hung from the prize wall, but we had already moved on by the time I realized they were from Tiffany.

‘There’s not much to know,’ I said. ‘I’m offensively normal.’

But he wasn’t having any of it. ‘Normal is subjective. What’s normal to you might be totally fantastical to someone like me.’

‘And vice versa,’ I replied. strongly suspecting my weekly trip to Asda for the big shop would indeed be fantastical to someone like him. I eyed the next booth, where people were tossing basketballs for a chance to win a Rolex. ‘Want to try?’ I asked.

‘Maybe later,’ Evan said, steering me away as an extremely tall man wearing a lot of jewellery sent a basketball sailing through the hoop with a swish. ‘My ego isn’t strong enough to shoot hoops next to LeBron. Besides, I’m a Warriors guy.’

‘I understood literally none of that, but OK,’ I said as we walked up to a game of ring toss instead.

‘Doesn’t like basketball either, got it.’ Evan picked up a stack of rings and handed me half of them. ‘Without giving away any Googlable-specifics but I want to know, who is Francesca?’