I had never, in my entire life, felt anything like this. There had been a million crushes before I met Stew, most of them unrequited and all of them disappointing. Falling for someone who didn’t even know I was alive had been a real talent of mine and I was extremely familiar with the thrill of unexpected eye contact or an accidental touch that went absolutely nowhere but could sustain me for days. But I couldn’t remember ever feeling such instant and overwhelming desire for another human being. I wanted to climb onto his back, sniff his head, then have him lie on top of me while he read everything he’d ever posted on Facebook aloud. It was as though I’d had all the wind knocked out of me and replaced with something lighter than air and, any second now, I fully expected to float away.

‘Are you OK?’ Evan said when I didn’t let go of his hand long after the socially acceptable period of time had lapsed.

‘I’m not sure,’ I admitted. ‘Is it me or is it warm out here?’

He slipped one finger under his tight white collar and pulled it away from his neck. His eyes followed mine as I looked around to make sure there were still other people on the terrace. They could all have vanished into thin air and I wouldn’t have noticed.

‘Francesca.’ He said my name in a voice that made me weak, the frequency corresponding directly with my ovaries. ‘Maybe we should get a drink.’

But I couldn’t move. Instead of nodding, smiling, following him to the bar for a drink, accepting his proposal, marrying in the little church near my nana’s old house and having three kids, two we planned and one who was a surprise albeit a welcome one, I stayed exactly where I was. Something like shame washed over me, drowning my desire with an unwelcome truth.

‘I have a boyfriend,’ I whispered.

It was an answer to a question he hadn’t asked yet. His face fell, leaving nothing but the ghost of a smile that I was sure would haunt me for ever. I was not one for dramatics. I’d always been the practical one, the sensible person who thought ahead, packed a snack and made everyone go for a wee before they left the house, but there was something about this man that made me feel like I could be someone else entirely. Except with just four words, whoever she might be, I’d sent her away for good.

‘You have a boyfriend,’ Evan repeated, as though he needed to hear it out loud again to convince himself. ‘Of course you do.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. And I meant it.